When We Were Young

• 39 •

• Na Jaemin •

"Even if you want to hurt me"

She is will do anything for them, she sacrificed for them and now she is willing to get hurt for them.

Dr. Park and Sora are now preparing for Jason's surgery, it is already late night. They will have an open heart surgery and transplant a heart for Jason.

I still don't know the reason why Jason needs it, I don't anything about them. I am to stupid not to know anything.

Ahra ask Chenle and Jisung to take care of Jasmine for tonight since they don't wanna Jasmine to see Jason being taken to have a surgery.

Here I am with Ahra, auntie, Haeso hyung in the private waiting area where we can see when they will have the surgery. I sat alone at the back while the three of them are in front.

Now I know why Jeno and Eomma wanted me to talk to Ahra since they already knew Jason's current state. They also mentioned about Ahra's health which is I still don't know why.

2 hours have passed, Ahra and I are the only one who is awake. Ahra came next to me "It's all my fault why he was born with a weak heart" she started to speak "if I was only careful enough to take care of myself while carrying them, I won't have to disturb you" my mind wants to conceal her but, something is also stopping me.

"I'm sorry your children nearly died because of me Jaemin, if only I could take back those days starting from the day I found out I was pregnant  and take good care of myself for them" she started sobbing next to me, all I can do is just listen to her.

"Take some rest and I will wake you up once the surgery is done" the only words that came out from my mouth before I stood up and went to look at the child being opened up to have a new heart.

If only I could take back those days and never hurt her like that, my son will never end up having a heart transplant.

I went out for a little while to think properly, but when I came out eomma and appa was outside "Jaemin-ah? What are you doing here?" They both looked surprised seeing me here "we heard what happened, how is he doing now?" Eomma stormed me with questions.

"He is having a heart transplant" I replied plainly "and I am here doing a favor for Ahra"

"Favor?" Eomma suddenly looked mad "you only do it as a favor and not because you are their father?"

"I need to protect my image too! And I want to focus on one woman"

Park Ahra

Jaemin left the room.

Jaemin agreed to my favor, not because he is the father, but only because he felt bad for them.

At least they will be happy to feel what it's like to have a father will also be my happiness, but only for a limit of time.

Jaemin doesn't love me anymore, nor he will love the twins, he is only here to act for their happiness.

I just wish I was enough for him back those days.

But one day I will disappear for good once this heart will give up. Just like how it gave up when I gave birth to the twins.

Na Jaemin

"Jaemin, you should not act stupidly" appa said "Ahra nearly died when she gave birth to your children isn't that enough? Now you will only do it as a favor and now her condition is also not the best, but also getting worst, don't you think that is too much?"

"Jaemin they are also your family" eomma spoke this time.

I went back inside since it is nearly 3 hours since the surgery started, Ahra is still standing next the glass, watching Jason with tears flowing down.

I gave her the water that I brought for her without speaking to her. She only smiled to me weakly.

"I told you to rest" I spoke to her while standing next to her "go home Jaemin, have some rest"

"You asked me to become a father for them, here I am acting like a father for Jason like what I should do" I replied to her.

"I'm sorry if I had to drag you into this" she faced me.

"It's alright, it already happened, I gave you my seeds and now they are here, what else I can do about it anyways"

"It was a mistake then?"

"Yeah" did I sound selfish?

She only nodded and turn back to Jason.

She exhaled deeply "If I didn't come back your life would probably be peaceful" I didn't say anything since my life is also not peaceful too even she didn't come back "you're much be happy with Yerim? You guys are really amazing and happy and lovely like a happy couple"

"In the future time will come you too will get married and have your own kids then become a happy family" I didn't reply a word to her since she is just talking nonsense so she can twirl my world around.

The surgery finished and they brought back Jason in the room, all we will have to do is wait for the child to wake up.

Ahra's parents and her siblings went home while me and Ahra stayed to look after the child. Ahra already rested in the couch while I am here sitting in another couch thinking what I should do next.

Ahra seems tired even in her sleep. She must had a long day or maybe more than a day.

"He doesn't love me" someone suddenly spoke, I turned to Ahra, probably having a nightmare "he doesn't want us" she turns her head towards the other side, opposite from me "he is happy" last thing she said.

Next morning, I was woken up because I felt something draped in my body. Ahra put a cover for me then went back to sleep.

Maybe she still loves me that much no matter how bad I hurt her.

I continued to sleep and remove all those past and continue with my future comings.