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A/N - you can press play on the song above and let it run throughout this chapter if you want to! :')
Drowning.
In the movies drowning was loud and splashy, someone yelled and waved their arms, they dipped below the waves and dramatically came back up while those on shore scrambled to rescue them—however, it was not actually like that. Drowning was quiet; their movements were subtle, in fact, they rarely ever made any noise at all. One minute their head was bobbing above the water and then the next minute, their head was gone.
Just like that.
Your arms and legs kicked out desperately as you tried to swim to the surface—swimming out of the car that had been submerged in the deep blue sea. The dark indigo waves swirled around you—trapping you—keeping you from the oxygen that you desperately needed to stay alive. Your entire body was throbbing; your lungs felt as though they had been set on fire. Slowly, black began to seep into your vision. You tried to open your mouth to breathe, but you could only taste salty water.
Darkness slowly began evading your vision. The water closed in around you—filling you with a deep sense of dread. You held your breath for as long as you possibly could, too long, in fact. Red and black splotches danced in front of you and you couldn't remember if your eyes were open or closed.
A sense of anguish, more so than pain, had taken rule of your heart, and you were extremely light-headed.
Maybe the upper content of your head was little more than a spiral of wool, which was slowly turning as it unravelled. One more revolution, and the final strand would release, to allow your mind to slip through the gap, and float slowly up and away.
Now you were drifting, drifting, drifting down through a bed of gently swaying strands of seaweed, to be crowned by the vertical green fronds as they wrapped around your head. You exhaled a sharp breath, which rose in a fascinating stream of bubbles back to the surface from whence it came.
You were now truly and irrevocably enveloped by the dark indigo body of water. The incredible pressure compressed your chest, forcing your lungs to burn as if on fire. Your heart began hammering, increasing in intensity and speed, like a bird trapped in a cage. Your throat seared in agony with the rising pressure of trapped air. Head pounding with panic, threatening to explode any second. You gave into the pressure and took a breath of air, only to engulf another gush of salty water. You tasted the filthy ocean, foul and polluted. Opening your mouth again, this time to scream, you let out a string of bubbles. Despair filled you with every struggling gulp.
This was the end.
Ice cold water was thrust up your nostrils—a stream cascaded into the back of your throat and nose, sending jets of pain protruding through your body. Slowly, the commotion and chaotic sounds of the sea drowned out to a low hum, buzzing in your ears, gradually muting into silence, at one with the darkness. You gave up on the screaming, on the thrashing, allowing the water to hold your body in a sustained position beneath the sea.
Your head was pounding, every cell in your body was screaming for oxygen. You kept fighting until you felt like your head was about to explode, you had to take a breath. So you did. For some odd reason it didn't exactly hurt like you thought it would, you weren't scared anymore, it was almost peaceful actually. You began to fall. You fell further and further into the darkness until it threatened to swallow you whole.
As your vision blurred and your consciousness faltered, your body became numb and you waited in resignedness for the numbing hands of death to suck away every last piece of life left in you—and just as the insatiable darkness was teetering on the edge of your vision once again, you saw a figure swimming towards you—gliding—a tall figure, a blurred figure, a bandaged figure.
His bandages were loose—flowing like ribbons in the deep sea—like a mummy being unwrapped, unravelled, revealed. His hair was as waves of pure earth, softly reflecting the light of the ominous, inconstant moon; each strand moving freely in an ocean-born breeze as he glided like a slinking panther through the water. With eyes of river waters—in glossy serenity—his aura seeped into the ocean air between you.
He was smiling—that's what you could see as your vision slowly began to fade and his handsome, chiselled face came into view.
He smiled reassuringly, a strange smile. It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across only four or five times in life. It faced—or seemed to face—the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favour. A smile with something hidden beneath the surface.
The two of you were currently surrounded by the deep blue sea; engulfing you, constraining you.
And then...
He wrapped his slender arms around your waist and pulled your frail, drowning body towards him. Darkness had completely and utterly enveloped your vision now, but you could still feel him—his intoxicating proximity—as you assured yourself that this was your very last breath.
He stared deeply into your closing eyes—he cupped your cheek that was now losing colour gently with his hand. He smiled at you before he slowly leaned into you. His other hand was shaking slightly—hoisting your body upwards. You were so beautiful; ethereal; your hair spilling around you like fine silk.
And just as the final breath was about to slip out of your mouth—Dazai swallowed it. He swallowed your last breath as he kissed you.
He kissed you as you were drowning in the deep indigo sea. His lips touched yours. Sparks flew in every direction, and the world slowly began disappearing around the two of you, along with all of your worries, your troubles and your problems. Your eyes suddenly widened and it had taken approximately one point three seconds to realise that Dazai was kissing you and a further three point eight seconds to realise that you were actually kissing him back. Your eyes had once again fluttered shut and in the darkness you could see light exploding. Dazai's lips were chapped and your bones were aching and you could taste the metallic tang of blood mixed with the bitter taste of salt, but you didn't care because all you could seem to focus on right now was the liquid warmth that was quickly spreading through your body—your body that was shutting down.
In the deep sea, with the brine flowing past both of your limbs, there was freedom. The sea had so many secrets, so many stories yet to tell and here the two of you were. Here Dazai's body had no weight that meant anything, he could glide in any direction without the fear of falling. This place, so far from the ordinary world above, was the wonderland of his dreams.
And the feeling of his warm lips on yours was the last thing that you felt before an insatiable darkness had suddenly consumed the entirety of your being.
A/N - fun fact: I got into a mini car accident yesterday...yeah wasn't great, still kinda shaken up about it but physically I'm okay. You bet my ass was like "😗✌️😗✌️" the entire time. Anyway, I haven't started writing the next chapter yet so please bear with me!
