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A/N - I highly recommend that you press play on the song above and let it run throughout this chapter! ;)
You were stuck in solitary confinement—all alone, and you had no fucking idea where the hell you were, why the hell you were here, and where the fuck the rest of the members of the Armed Detective Agency were, especially Dazai. You internally winced when you remembered the very moment that he was stabbed with a knife, limply falling to the ground, eyes closing with a smile that had both scared and excited you.
The only thing that you could possibly do now was hope and pray that everyone else was safe and could escape. You didn't care about what happened to you, but you did care about what happened to them. If something happened or if someone died tonight, you would never be able to forgive yourself; the guilt would have eaten you alive. If joining the Port Mafia meant the safety of the others was guaranteed, then you would willingly comply, no questions asked, even at the risk of what you would lose—a life, your friends, love.
You glanced around the room. It wasn't the worst place to be stuck in solitary confinement with zero idea about what the hell was going to happen, and what the fuck was going on outside of these four walls, but also, it wasn't exactly the best either. The room was dimly lit with vintage wall sconces that hung on the mute coloured walls like earrings. Thick velvet curtains hid the long windows across the walls, just leaving a shy peek of the world beyond. Two antique couches stood on opposite sides of each other on the hand-woven rug in front of the ashen fireplace, accompanied by rich velvet and bronze wing-chairs that stood as sidekicks. The paintings and faded tapestry panels on the walls seemed to blink at you, like they were greeting you.
Was this going to be your new life?
That thought petrified you. In your past, you had misused your ability for your own personal gain, for extremely selfish purposes, and you did not want to go down that road again, because truthfully, it didn't make you happy. You didn't want your ability to be weaponised, you wanted to use it to help people. To save people. You couldn't possibly be sold off to the Port Mafia just like this. This couldn't be your fate.
No.
The moon hanging over Yokohama was milky tonight, framed by lashes of thin, blurry clouds. Your head rested on the wooden panel of the window, and you wondered how the fuck everything went so wrong in the span of just two hours. You felt like a prisoner condemned to eternal suffering—you felt like a nuisance, an obstacle, bad omen. You felt like your presence did more harm than good, and right now, you were regretting ever joining the Armed Detective Agency in the first place and putting everyone in such a dangerous situation.
The fear thoughts looped around in your mind until there was no room for anything else. The "loop" played like this: what if something happens to Naomi, Haruno and the President? What if the entire agency burns down to ashes because of me? What if someone dies because of me? What if I'm given no other choice but to join the Port Mafia? What about Dazai?
