Finding Him and Me

Chapter 62 - Removing the Veil

I wake up with a start and last evening comes flooding in even before I can open my poor eyes. And then... Last night comes flooding in. What did I do? Jeez! The things we did! Fuck fuck fuck. Turning onto my stomach I smother my face into the pillow on a groan, praying to the pillow gods that they knock some sense into my fuzzy brain. The questioning part of my brain is losing its shit and the answering part of my brain seems to have curled into a ball, rolling in the gutter. My inner goddess is dealing with her shock by voluntarily drowning herself in an English rose bubble bath of utter embarrassment. What has my life become? Seeking solace I turn to the sensible part in my brain and it tells me embrace the day and get the fuck up, without giving a thought to such trivial matters. Trivial? TRIVIAL? Fine! Whatever!

I turn and the golden light streaming in through the sheer curtains on the cold December morning tells me its still very early. Not wishing to oversleep, but not wishing to deal with the string of questions lining up in my eager mind either, I roll out of bed slowly and pull on a pink leotard. I sink to the floor and start my stretch routine.

Stretching my hands to the ceiling on a deep inhale, I rise on my toes and then fall abruptly, bending on soft knees as I exhale. The time is flying. It seems like just days ago when I first met Arjun in Toscano and started preparation for the concert in full swing and now we're already approaching the stage rehearsal and finally the show. I'm flying to Bikaner soon after and then the year will come to an end.

My first thought on the whole situation that is honestly my life, is that, 'god this stressful!' Not only have I ended up falling in love.... Wait a second. It is love, right?

My heart screeches to an abrupt halt. Is it love? I hit pause on my movements. Is it? Or was it just sparks flying because for the first time in my life a boy paid attention to me and likes me and wants me? Fuck this is a catastrophe!

Shaking my head, I begin my rolldowns and while I'm at it, I massage my toes and stretch them. Poor babies have been enduring torture for weeks. Now they've permanently turned maroon-ish-purple in color. I'm constantly struck by a myriad of intense emotions when I think of Arjun and I think, I do love him. But what do I know about love? Because if I'm being frank, I've only ever truly loved book characters; Darcy, Rikkard, Heathcliff, Hardin, Christian and so many more. Gosh this is perplexing!

Sliding into a plunge I ponder more carefully. This all seems so confusing only when I'm thinking by myself. Around Arjun, it all seems so crystal clear. I know I really really like him, both, as a friend and maybe even something more than that, and I want him. Clenching my eyes, I shudder.

Fuck it. Overthinking never really helped anyone keep their sanity intact and perhaps I'll just have to wait and watch what the future has in store for me. Yet, one thing is for sure. For me, Arjun is not Darcy, Heathcliff, Christian or Hardin, he's my Prince Charming and if my life is anything like the fairytale it feels like, I know he's my hero.

After a long breakfast and quick shower I complete my packing for Bikaner and hop over to the mall to finish some last minute shopping. In the evening, before leaving for class, mum receives a text on the Ballet WhatsApp group. Its a reminder for the before-show party tomorrow night.

Bloody hell! I completely forgot about that!

I scrunch my face in disgust and my stress levels shoot up past the roof. What the hell I'm I going to wear. Facepalming and virtually sobbing, I quickly call Noor and seek her help. In ten minutes flat the wonder woman has managed to calm my breeches and put together a smashing and sexy outfit from my wardrobe by memory. Now that's the kind of friend a girl really needs in life. Feeling better I rush to class.