Brittana- Invisible String

Chapter 45

Sorry for the updates being slower than normal. Work has generally been so manic!, but here we are! Enjoy!

P.S. I'm always open for suggestions for things you might wanna see, even though I have the foundations of this story planned right up to the sequel, so fire away if you have anything!

The holiday bliss continued as we entered our second week, and the more time went on the harder I found it to not outright stare at Santana's bikini body, which was becoming tanner by the day. There was no doubt how much I wanted her, but I was also so nervous about it all, but definitely relieved to have talked it through with her. San was right, we did need to be more open with each other, our communication had limited us for so long.

The Monday was an enjoyable but tiring day, we spent a full trip visiting Haleakala National Park to see the volcano, and by the time we got back to our suite I was out like a light. It was a good job really, because ordinarily it would have been a sleepless night, due to the events of the next day.

Tuesday 25th February.

My due date. A day that came and passed every year, and never got any easier. I'd made peace with losing the baby now, accepting that my day to be a mother would come later, but it never stopped you forgetting. Never stopped you wondering about the child you could have with you by now. If life had other plans, I could have been celebrating my child's 5th birthday today.

I thought about what it might be like, to wake up to tiny hands jabbing me impatiently, begging me to get out of bed so they could go open all of their presents. Instead, I was woken by a hand gliding softly across my face, the lightest of kisses placed on my forehead. When I opened my eyes, I met with concerned brown ones staring back at me. I knew Santana always worried about me on days like today, and I offered her my best reassuring smile to let her know I was coping, before turning my head to the side and noticing the bunch of flowers she'd placed there. She had picked a bunch of assorted poppies this year, so poignant, and I felt tears prick my eyes. A small but sweet gesture, and something Santana always remembered to do.

"That's so thoughtful of you honey. Thank you." I smiled, taking her hand and place a light kiss on her fingers, before bring it down and giving it a gentle squeeze. I kept hold of her hand, enjoying the feel of our entwined fingers.

"How do you feel babe?"

"Sad. Reflective. But better for having my thoughtful girl by my side".

"If you don't feel up to doing anything today, we can just stay in the suite. Whatever you feel comfortable with Brit. I'm here to make today whatever you want it to be. If you want to talk we can talk. If you want to keep busy and think of anything but, we can do that..."

I smiled again at her to let her know I appreciated her support. I knew she was always worrying I was going to shut her out like I did at the time, and not tell her how I was feeling. Bottling things up was definitely something I struggled with, but I had got better at sharing my thoughts, and I knew this was something I'd be more than willing to talk about with her.

"I think I just want us to have a nice, normal day. I'll think about it a lot, but I'll feel worse if I just sit here and dwell on what could have been".

"Okay sweetheart, well let's say after breakfast, we get dressed and have a walk along the beach then?"

"That sounds perfect. Thank you, San". And I smiled once again, because as painful as today was, having Santana by my side always anchored me.

Walking along the beach was a great suggestion, as the feeling of the sand between my toes and the distant sound of children playing in the warm breeze brought a sense of calm over me. For much of the walk, we were in a pleasant silence. I knew that Santana was respecting my time to reflect on things and waiting for me to talk if I wanted to. She always did know me so well, just like I always knew her, and the level of our intuitiveness never failed to amaze me. What was crazy about all that, is how we both felt the same way about each other for years, and that was the one thing we weren't in tune or communicating with. But we were here now, on the path towards some sort of future together, and for that I could only be grateful. It was the sight of a blonde little girl around the age of 5 running to paddle in the shallows of the ocean that broke my silence. I didn't even plan the words that came out of my mouth, they just fell straight off my chest.