Brittana- Invisible String

Chapter 31

As the days passed by, Brittany went through the cycles of grief. She started out very weepy and emotional, but then her emotions soon turned to anger. She needed somebody to blame, and that person was going to be Denver.

Being that he had hurt her already, it was easy for Brittany to place the blame on him. She kept on saying how unfair it was, that he had another child to go back to. In a rational sense, Brittany knew this didn't make his grief any less valid, but right now she wasn't feeling very rational.

When blaming Denver wasn't enough, she'd look for other people to blame.

"When we went to the doctors for my first check-up, they should have known something was wrong. They told me my hCG levels were low but that they weren't concerned. Maybe they should have been concerned. What if this could have been prevented!?"

Santana hated not being able to give Brittany the answers she wanted, but what she hated most of all, was when Brittany would run out of blame on other sources and start blaming herself. Despite constant reassurance from Santana, that there was nothing she could have done better, Brittany still blamed herself; and it hurt.

It was hard for Santana seeing Brittany so angry, and it was even harder seeing her upset, but the worst part was when they were 10 days in, and Brittany started shutting her out completely.

Brittany began to feel completely numb inside, and as a result she started bottling all of her feelings up. Despite Santana's best efforts, she just couldn't get Brittany to speak to her about anything at all. She'd just watch, as Brittany moped around, spending most of her time in Santana's room. The tears had stopped and were instead replaced by a lifeless expression.

One day Santana watched as Mila went over to give her a painting that she'd done for her. Brittany smiled momentarily and then left it on the side, disappearing upstairs again. It wasn't like Brittany at all, and Santana was worried. By the look on Mila's face, she was worried too.

"Don't worry sweetheart, you know that Aunty Brit-Brit is just extremely sad right now, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love your painting. She's just having a hard time expressing herself. Why don't you go and pin it up on the fridge so that she can see it later?" said Santana, bending down to Mila's level to assure her.

As Mila went off to put the painting up, Santana breezed cautiously upstairs. As expected, she found Brittany perched on the bed, staring out of the window. She knocked, so not to startle Brittany, but she didn't even turn to acknowledge her.

"Hey, you" she started softly "I wondered if you might like to watch a movie with me and Mila. I can go to the store and get all of your favourite snacks..."

She waited in anticipation for a response from Brittany, but inside she felt stupid for even suggesting that snacks and a movie could make things okay. She decided to try a different approach as she walked over to Brittany, her voice desperate.

"Brit...babe, will you please just speak to me? I'm really, really worried about you. I know that you are hurting, and I just want to help you, but I can't do that if you don't let me in"

Brittany said nothing again, and by now Santana was feeling really lost and a little hurt. She knew she shouldn't feel that way, because it was obvious Brittany wasn't herself, but she couldn't help it. She had promised Brittany's parents that she would take care of her, but right now it just seemed like Brittany was slipping further and further away. She swallowed as she addressed Brittany again.

"Brittany...I think you should go and see your parent's tomorrow. It might do you some good to have a change of scenery, to speak to your mom. I just feel like at the moment...I'm not helping you. Maybe you need your mom and dad. Maybe they'll be able to support you in a way that I haven't..." she trailed off, waiting in apprehension for Brittany's response.