Forgiveness, Trust & Forever

Brandon

Perfection, that is what my life has become, these last few weeks have been the icing upon the cake for me. Emily agreeing to help with one more of my final wishes come true, her own crazy ways along with my dreams have created these, my most treasured memories.

"Hey B, you ok?" Her voice has been like a soft song since the weight of Hero's decision lifted and she put plans for her future into place. The soft smile on her face has been a permanent feature and although I know her soft delicate heart is dissolved into a thousand's shards of glass, and she will never love me or any other guy for that matter because she will always love that utter idiot, in this moment seeing her smile again is all that matters.

I slowly nod my head "I'm good" I tell her moving my gaze back out to sea "this time away with you has been amazing" when she told me after our friendship commitment service that she had been secretly planning what she fondly has named our bestie moon I thought she was crazy but when I realised it was another thing on my list my heart swelled with love for her more than I ever thought it would.

The last ten days away from home have been perfect, without the constant eyes staring at me like I'm going to drop dead any second or the constant need that they feel to make me smile or to be around me when all I want sometimes is to sit in silence in my flat with nothing going on just me and my own projects that I want to complete on my own before I run out of time and the constant need of my boys and family to be around me which I understand is important to them is just a little too much for me. I just wish I could find a way to tell them that I need time with myself time to get my head around things and time to make plans, for when the day they are wanting to avoid accepting finally arrives, I will not have left anything undone.

"I have just spoken with Freddie he said everything is fine back home, but he needs you to call him" I screw my nose up not wanting to burst this perfect bubble but also knowing that he would not ask if it was not important not when we are on our Bestie moon anyway.

I nod my head at her holding my hand out for her to take "Sit with me for a bit and then I will call him I just don't want to miss this view to much" she curls onto my lap as I hold her close to me ,we have just this final day making our way back down to Southampton before we finally have to get back to the craziness that we have both been ignoring.

We have been spending our days sightseeing with our first day we spent on the island of Sark, we enjoyed the sights in a horse drawn carriage and walked arm in arm through the beautiful gardens before we moved off to Ireland spending days enjoying Cork Dublin and Belfast followed by time in Scotland where we caught sight of wild Killer whales achieving yet another tick on my bucket list before climbing back on board this beautiful ship and spending this day relaxing with the beautiful view of open space around and crystal waters around us.

The silence between us is not deafening but instead its like a dream we have come so far in our relationship that we are now able to sit like this in each other's arms not uttering a word but still being in comfort.

"Go call him so we can get ready for our final dinner" she nudges me her beautiful smile flashing through as I lift her from my lap joining her on our feet, I place a gentle kiss to her forehead before leaving her to gossip with the other ladies she has made acquaintance with during these few days.

This ship has felt like a world away from London and all the shit that Hero has thrown at Emme but something in the pit of my stomach is telling me that is exactly why Freddie has demanded a call back from me today. My heart is aching at the thought of him stirring up shit again, I mean we have had everything settled, she is finally smiling, and he will only ever bring trouble back with him that I am sure of.

I drag myself into the cabin fatigue starting to kick in again and I know that once I am home, I will have no choice other than to let my body crumble and try to recover from this amazing experience.