Forgiveness, Trust & Forever

Freddie

Life can be challenging for everyone and I always pride myself on keeping my life simple. I mean I had to live a simple life to keep up with the craziness that the Mboys brought into my world, our fearless head boy has been enough drama for the rest of us to of never done anything and we would still have the rep we do. You see Hero always had our groups name in the mouth of every other clique in the area, if he wasn't battering guys for money or just for fun, he was shagging their girl's before sending them back to them with tears in their eyes and apologies falling from their mouths.

I did not want that type of crazy to be my forever and so once I realised that my future was stood right there in front of me, I had moved into my parent's basement creating a home for both myself and my girl.

I have been working hard to save up for our future, you see I want my life to include the craziness of my boys but with the sanctuary of Natalie's calming countryside life all wrapped into one, so knowing that I have no intention of blowing my life up like my best friend has, I have attempted to learn from his mistakes and so far, that is working for me.

Natalie is still working hard in university and once she is done, she will be moving here to live with me, her degree giving her the chance to work anywhere she chooses to apply for a job whilst my full-time job is keeping me busy while I wait for her to be here full time and my side-line jobs that were meant to be hobbies to keep me entertained while I waited for her have become more of passion projects making me want to maybe explore them a little more as possible career changes one day.

But right now, my life has no time for changes as it has become a rollercoaster, the good times mixed in with the reality that the bad times are looming. Brandon is looking weaker by the day that I spend with him and sounding more exhausted every time I speak to him over the phone and I know that sooner than any of us want he is going to be heading off and leaving nothing but devastation in his wake.

The shrill ring of my phone has me coming back to reality as I pull it from my trouser pocket "Hey Mrs F how is everything going?" This woman has been like a second mother to me and I have no plans of stopping contact with her know matter what her spineless dick of a son has to say on the matter.

"Freddie, is there anyway you could pop round on your way home today?" Intrigued of course by her request I tell her I am on the tube now and I will see her in ten.

The tube pulls into the station as I hang up and I drag my exhausted ass out of my seat and join the crowd of commuters as we all fight to get home to start our weekend. The cool spring evening air is exactly what I need on my face after been struck in the office all day and then crammed onto the tube.

I make it to the square in no time at all, the place I have called home my whole life everything I ever thought I would hold dear to my heart I found living on this square.

My family are here living each day with me and my boy was just across the gardens, the day he fully left London to live in Winchester I felt lost, we had been here together for nineteen years I mean this was our stomping ground and no one fucked with us around here. Hero had made the biggest plans for his life here and the day he fully packed up his room I never thought I would see him back living in his mum's house again. I had every faith in him, that he would finally grow up and never have to move home again but instead he messed it up, how does he always manage to do that? I question myself on how he could possibly have come so far from the screwed-up kid he was to a mature guy with the world at his feet to now being back living between his mother's house and in hotel rooms whilst battling against everyone that ever meant a thing to him just so that he can feel better about himself and his monumental screw up of a life that he has managed to create in the last four months.