Forgiveness, Trust & Forever

Freddie

The sea of black has taken over the streets of London, family, friends, and colleagues all reminiscing about the good times with watery eyes and broken hearts connecting as we all grieve our mutual loss for the gentlest soul.

Titan leading the way still actively refusing to speak to anyone in a full sentence his own grief pulling him into a level of solitude he has never been in before. Titan has been a big brother to us all but for some reason he attached himself to B during his battle never letting any of us take some of the responsibility to help care for him, instead he only allowed us visit and keep the bucket list promises that we worked hard to achieve for our best friend.

The familiar church that Brandon always attended with his family is standing high in front of us as we join the rest of his close family awaiting his arrival, the familiar faces all faking their smiles while attempting to not breakdown into emotional messes.

"Freddie?" the soft voice of a young lady who I don't recognise calls out to me, I turn to Natalie who is looking at me with the same confusion I am sure is also plastered on my own face.

I bob my head up and down in agreement "yeah that's me" she lets out a broken smile and walks closer to me offering me her hand to shake as she introduces herself.

"Hi, I'm Carys, I met Brandon at the hospital" she tells me for clarification as I had met her with a blank stare at who she was.

Titan joins us "Carys, what are you doing here?" His tone is off and not like him when it comes to the ladies.

"Titan, I... Brandon's mum said it would be ok" she regains her composure after the sharpness of his reaction to her presence whilst looking at me with a level of fear that is radiating from her under his stare down.

"It's fine Carys, nice to meet you" I accept her hand before moving her towards Nat "this is my girlfriend Natalie" I smile at her "Natalie, this is Carys, she is a friend of B's from the hospital" my forever gentle and friendly girlfriend takes the newcomer off my hands and off to introduce her to the rest of the boys while I turn to deal with Titan and his attitude.

Grabbing ahold of his arm I drag him from the growing crowd to a secluded spot behind the church "let me go Fred" he shakes himself from my grip "she shouldn't be here, she didn't know him like I do, we did" he quickly corrects himself piquing my interest.

"What did you mean like you do Ti, what is going on with you?" I push him for a response, something is really playing with his head and the last thing I want is for him to feel alone while he tries to deal with it all.

The six feet stocky built guy falls to his knees his head in his hand as he breaks down into tears "I failed him, I promised him I would never hurt him and I did, I pushed him away from me when he got involved with Emily" the spiel coming from his mouth is just adding more and more confusion to everything in my head "and then when we fix everything she came along and .... And..."

"And what Ti? What happened?" Something doesn't feel right with this, I'm missing something, but what?

"FREDDIE" the voice of Hero calls out from the distance "TITAN" he clearly knows we are both gone together but I can't allow him to see his brother in this state.

Titan is pushing himself back up to his feet, desperately trying to clear his face of any signs that he just had a rambling breakdown just seconds ago" I will go to him, you just wait here for a minute and get yourself together" a feeble nod of his head is all I need, and my feet are off taking me back around the church.

Catching Hero on the corner I guide him back to the front "is my bro back there?" He questions looking over his shoulder "he has been acting so weird recently"

"Yeah, he is bro, but he is good let's get back to the others yeah" he clearly wants to query my insistence to move away from the location of Titan, but this isn't the time for a Fiennes Tiffin brothers showdown.

When we were growing Brandon had always claimed that his wedding day would be a funeral for his wild boy ways and so the classic black and white outfits of the attendants to this celebration of his life are giving off the exact level of smooth sophistication Brandon had always wanted for that day of dual celebration and mourning. Today our brother is being laid to rest in the black and white tuxedo that he had worn for his mock wedding to his best friend earlier this year, fitting really as we mourn his loss of wild days whilst celebrating the memories, he has left us with.

"It's time to go in babe" Natalie glides up next to me her newfound friend keeping close to her side.

I drop my lips to her perfectly styled hair, placing a kiss onto it as I mutter the words "thank you" to her giving a small nod to Carys "she looks like she has been crying" I say, not sure if it's an observation or a question.

"She has, they were closer than anyone knew I think" she whispers into my ear giving me a do you get what I am saying stare. I offer her a weak smile and watch as she guides Carys into the church with her and Kelly.

The pallbearer ushers us over and with deep breathes the six of us make our way towards the black glass carriage holding the pristine white coffin our best friend is laid within, the top covered in white roses and lilies teamed with black ribbons and feathers to match the glossy coats of the black horses that escorts his final carriage ride to the church that was his safe place, his sanctuary not just throughout his childhood but more so than ever when he learned of his terminal illness.

The horses bow their heads as we walk past them the white feather on their head blowing in the wind as we each take a deep breath of the fresh air before our feet land in two lines at the back of the carriage the funeral director giving us our last run through of what we need to do for us to successfully carry B through the church.

My eyes meet Hero's as we take our places holding the front of the coffin, leading Kai and Mason in the middle who are followed by Anton and Theo at the rear. Our grips holding tightly not wanting to drop him but equally not want to let this go yet, wanting to keep him in our grasp for just a little bit longer.

Callum and Owen lead the procession, as Jayden and Logan stand at the front of the church singing their version of See you again by Wiz Khalifa. The song a perfect fitting, the words ringing true to us all as well as being Brandon's favourite song and from his favourite movie franchise.

The screen at the front of the church playing a slideshow of so many memories for us as young lads to forming the Mboys and then growing into guys with the world at our feet and heads full of dreams and promises of tomorrow.

Instead, we have spent the last year learning that forever isn't a guarantee, life is short, memories need to be created not just for you to remember that you have lived your life to the fullest but to also remember the ones you love when their time comes to leave you. Never should anyone pass on without a heart full of love, a belly full of spent laughter butterflies, a head full of memories and eyes dancing with gratitude for the good times.

We come to a halt at the end of the aisle, lowering him onto the table we each turn in to face each other waiting in silence a we are joined by Jayden and Logan each of us stepping closer together so that we are each slotted in next to Brandon our hands raised across the top of him our MBoy hand shake performed one last time on a Friday, our voices start singing out "It's Friday again, then it's Saturday, Sunday" and then the whole church calls out "WHAT".

The tears joined with the whole congregation performing an impromptu performance of Brandon's signature Friday song, I take a look at the Vicar and relief fills me as he smiles and sings along his hands clapping and knees bending causing him to be bobbing up and down, B's big brother opens up his Spotify account playing the track encouraging everyone else to start dancing as we make our way through the whole song, sadness lifted for just those few minutes.

Author Notes ❤

Hey everyone,

So this was the first of Brandon's funeral chapters, How are you all feeling after this chapter?

What do you think will happen next?

Let me know what you think of this chapter and if you enjoyed it then please include a vote.

Donna-Louise ❤