Forgiveness, Trust & Forever

Brandon

I never believed that I had betrayal in me, at least not when it comes to Emily, but here I am trying to do exactly that.

"What the fuck do you want?" I do not know why I am surprised by his response, I mean I was aware that he was pissed with me because of his crazy notion about Emily and I being married but, in all honesty, I am just as angry with him, for believing I would have jumped on her when he had binned her off to try and steal her away from him.

I mean of course I would love nothing more and if I could not see the blinding love, she has for him maybe it would be a little bit different I mean he has proven her does not deserve her and I really want her pus I am dying so it is not like I would have her for long.

The thing that I worry about the most is that the love she has for him will always be there scrambling with her future and through every ounce of disappointment and disgust I have for my mate, here I am with his harsh tone cutting through me like a knife.

The tone alone makes me wish I had not made this call and that mixed with the anxiety I am feeling at the thought of what I am doing to Emily right now has me wanting to hang up on his stubborn ass "look H drop the attitude, we need to talk" I know this is a shit move betraying my best friend like this, but I have no choice.

"Nah we don't bro" I am really struggling to keep my cool right now with him as he spits his words out to me down the phone, I honestly thought he would love the idea of being able to take me on after all the threats he has made about wanting to have it out with me.

I want to take him on, but I am not sure I have it in me right now with everything else that is going on in my head "do you know what Hero if you want to let your ego win out over what is really important then you go ahead?"

I disconnect the call not wanting to give him the chance to change his mind or even respond to me. I mean it is obvious that I would be calling him over Emily, right? so why ignore me after all he has had to say about being determined to steal her back after all that is what he has told every single one of our boys in the week since he returned home and laid his cards on the table with Em.

Obviously stealing her back from me is not an option because I do not have her, I mean at least not in the way he thinks that I do but still here I am terrified that if he gets close enough Emme will go back to him handing her heart over yet again and he will keep destroying her repeatedly.

As much as I do not want to be right about this, I know that he has so much learning and growing to do before he will be anywhere close to being able to finally be the guy she needs, and he has even more to do before he will be mature enough to cope with a child demanding his attention and being so dependent on him.

I am disappointed in myself when a bolt of relief washes over me that he did not agree to talk with me because I would have just made a massive mistake in telling him what is really going on not only between myself and Emily but with Emily and her baby.

I left her back in Winchester with the promise that I wouldn't tell him anything just like when I made that call pleading with her to not go through with the abortion, and my unconditional love for my best friend has me desperately trying to stick by those promises but finally seeing the baby on that screen, seeing her small stomach in front of my very eyes that should be nearly twice the size by this stage of her pregnancy has me terrified that if anything goes wrong now and Hero didn't know he would never forgive any of us for hiding this from him.

I know my guy we have grown from young together and as much as he has always been only out for himself and making himself happy especially since Jade screwed him over, he will regret it one day and he will come running back when he has his head on straight again so I wanted to give them the chance to find each other again to finally be each other's end game, an without a doubt if Emme had gone through with the abortion she would never have forgiven him or herself for ending that tiny little life.