Forgiveness, Trust & Forever

Emily

The words of the judge are ringing in my ears as I let them play over and over like a stuck record, the smug smirk all over my arrogant ex's face tips me onto some sort of rollercoaster and out of nowhere like a dormant volcano everything that has been stuck inside erupts out of me.

I climb to my feet, rage bubbling over "How dare you hand my child to him, how can you think its ok to give her to a sex crazed egotistical prick who has no intentions of actually raising her" the words are spilling out of me like hot lava "all he is going to do is give her to someone else to look after while he chases his dream and then use her to gain more attention to the sluts that he likes to have hanging off of him"

The room remains silent for the briefest of seconds while I try to catch my breath, then the boom of my fathers voice interrupts my rant "Emily that's enough" he shouts at me "Eleanora has a right to be with her father and he has been doing an amazing job while you have been refusing to be a mother to her" Judge Earl remains seated watching the show play out in front of him "this whole mess has happened because of your need to hurt Hero for his past mistakes against you, but in the process you have cost your daughter time with her father that cannot be replaced, you have also destroyed your own life along the way so just stop now and get yourself some help before its too late". My father's speech isn't what I want to hear right now, right in this moment I want someone to tell me that I am right for once I want the golden boy to be refused what he wants I want him to lose.

"How about you judge my parenting less and look closer to home as to why this whole fucking mess happened, Daddy" my tone is laced with venom for the only man I believed would always stand by all my mistakes and choices, yet now in this key moment of my life he is standing with Hero, the guy I thought was my forever but instead turned out to be my biggest mistake.

"Miss Dean I would like to ask you to calm down so that I can explain my decision" the calmness he pushes into the room with his placid voice catches me off guard and instead of fighting him like I want too, I instead just take my seat again next to this sorry excuse for a solicitor that I hired and nod my head in response to him.

The court room falls back into silence as we wait for him to speak again, my body perches on the edge of my seat battling my fight or flight response from kicking in again. I wrap my hands together in an attempt to calm myself, desperately wanting to prove them wrong so that I can get this phase of my life over with.

"I have reached the decision to grant Mr Fiennes Tiffin temporary custody of the child on the basis that he continues to meet each of the courts orders and we will review it again in four weeks time with the intention of working towards a permanent decision on the full time care of Eleanora long term" so I have one month to prove he can't be a father that's easy, right?

"Miss Dean, Emily" the judge moves his attention to me now "I would ask that you attend some sort of therapy or maybe see your doctor to get yourself in a better place to help us with this case because at the moment it is very difficult to consider your requests for adoption when there are clear concerns from the other parties involved about your mental health"

Eruption number two leaves me without any notice even to myself "there is fuck all wrong with me except that these people sat in this room are trying to destroy my life" the expression on the judges face tells me my choice of expletives isn't helping my case but I don't give a shit right now because it seems nothing is going to help my case anyway.

"Emily I understand your frustration but please work with me and then in one months time we will come back and make more decisions on what's best for Eleanora because she is the courts priority and unfortunately when one parent is refusing to agree to adoption it leaves the court with no choice but to work through the process in the right ways and these outbursts from you aren't helping you prove that you are of sound mind to make these life changing decisions"

And just like that he dismisses us all and leaves the court.

My dad hugging Hero over their win today, the slaps on the back reminding me of how much my dad has always loved him like his own, always backed him even when he did awful things to me my dad would find a way to defend him and his shitty actions, in this moment watching it I feel suddenly alone without someone by my side telling me everything will be ok.

I struggle to focus as Rebekah waffles on about how I need to do everything that the court requests from me, apparently I will receive a list of things they want to see from me at the next hearing including a trip to the doctors and therapy for whatever issues the court deems I am currently struggling with and if I don't apply myself to the programme that they want from me I will lose, and Hero will get what he wants, he will get to be a part of my life forever.

I cannot let this happen again; I can't let him wedge himself in I would rather die than have him around me messing with my head

"Emily" the soft voice of my stepmother catches me off guard as I leave the court building, my heart sinks as I spot her standing in front of me teamed up with the dragon that is birth mother "darling I have missed you" her voice breaks, her eyes begin to glaze over as they scan up and down over the mess that is my appearance. My silence clearly rattling her as she pushes further for me to respond to her "please talk to me Emily, I need to know if you're ok my sweet girl" a scoff leaves me at the same time as a wail leaves the pram next to her, my heart rising in my chest again and settling firmly in my throat.

Footsteps behind me snap me from the frozen silence that I was trapped in "Ok?" I ask her "you want to know how I am? Well let me think about that" I take a second watching as Hero ignores the events around him, his only focus being on his daughter just like it always used to be on me before I....

NO I can't keep going over this shit in my head it wont change anything "I would be fine if everyone would just let me live my life the way I want to and let me cancel all my mistakes from the so they don't affect my future but apparently all of you want me to pay for it all for the rest of my days so Melinda my life right now is shit and all I want is for you all to leave me alone and never contact me again because I don't need any of you anymore"

And just like that I take one last look at my daughter silently cooing in her fathers arms, the perfect baby with the perfect father it seems to the outside world but that demon child and her devil father are nothing but evil under their masks and I will not allow them to take anything else from me ever again and so with a flick of my hair I spin around on my heels and strut away from them with the hope that I am proving to them that they are wrong and that I am done with them that I am fine and I will not be torn down and I will win at the end of this whole stupid court case.

Author Notes

Hey everyone,

Sorry its a short chapter today but I will try to get you another one up asap.

Let me know what you thought about this chapter and what you think will happen next and if you enjoyed it maybe include a sneaky vote too