Forgiveness, Trust & Forever

White Party

The red lipstick seamlessly painted onto my lips gives them the perfect pop of colour as I pout into the mirror, the lights surrounding the frame giving me the perfect view of my immaculately made-up face. My hair is teased to within an inch of its life and lacquered into the perfect position, my natural curls taking over as the roots are back combed and pulled away from my face leaving it all to waterfall down my back.

The snug white dress that I had previously squeezed myself into is gone and in its place my body is now wrapped up in tiny knickers, pure white feathers that fall from the bottom of my satin basque are protecting the cheeks of my bum from being on display as the fringing at the front shimmy's as I move teasing the audience with the front of my satin knickers. My costume stuck with modesty tape on my newly formed mum bust, the need for tape to stop them from escaping during the upcoming performance something I have never needed to worry about before.

I mean I have always been lucky to have an average bust but since I had Eleanora it has grown a few cup sizes and I am still getting used to the difference that it is making within my previously perfectly fitted outfits, each of my outfits now requiring adaptions to keep me from looking indecent when I am out in public or performing on stage.

My flesh-coloured fishnet tights feeling strange against my skin, it has been so long since I needed to wear them for a dance show and with my pervious baby bump, I had opted for comfort as I had danced rather than tradition. I run my hands over them as I try to pull myself back down with a tightness in my chest triggers the early stages of my rarely heard of anxiety. My head starts to spin with the reality that I am about to head out and dance in front of all these people dressed in my underwear, the show not only to raise awareness for my best friends chosen chancer charity but to tease everyone with what is to come from the club when it finally gets to open.

We have trained the girls to within an inch of their lives and now its time to put them to work, we need to see how they perform to an audience, we cannot afford to have any weak links when we finally open. So, we are challenging them by putting on this mini show and I just hope we have our shit together because I really do not have the time to train yet another dancer now that I have baby boo and her ass of a father to deal with.

"Ten minutes ladies" the excited tones of Chloe sing out into our makeshift dressing room.

I need to clear my head before I attempt these dances tonight, my brain is so focused on the craziness of my private life that I do not have enough left to put into anything else and on top of that Hero and his brother think they can play with my head tonight.

Titan's words were kind of expected I guess after all he did go against his brother for me, but I am not foolish enough to think that anyone other than him would betray my trust and send Hero to my home when I was pregnant. I had felt his loyalty move from me and my baby back to his brother once he had returned to the country and nobody will ever change my mind against the fact that he is the one who screwed everything up for me the moment he did that.

As for Hero I cannot get my head around the fact he swore to me he would never be with that bitch of a co-star that he is meant to be fake dating, yet he was out there less than an hour ago calling her babe and saying that she would get a chance to meet my baby, hell no that is never happening. Eleanora is my daughter, and he will never get the chance to show her off or to be proud of her because he destroyed us, broke my heart, and left me, he left us behind and did not care until it was to late.

Well, I will never let him back in, so he just needs to give in and walk away.

I rub a slick of Vaseline over my teeth to protect them from the ruby red stain on my lips from transferring while I go out there and dance my little ass off with my well trained big fake smile whilst helping to lure the guys into wanting to hire tables at the opening of the club with my come fuck me eyes. "Come on Em you just need to get this over with and then you can return to your world with Hayden and Eleanora" my silent pep talk to myself is soon getting interrupted by Chloe as she calls out to us all again "line up girls, its show time".