Forgiveness, Trust & Forever

Brandon's Letter to Hero

*** PLEASE CHECK OUT THE AUTHOR NOTES ***

Dear Hero

After months of typing texts and emails before deleting them, lifting the phone in an attempt to make calls to you so that we can finally discuss the many disputes that still hang silently in the air between us before cancelling your number from the screen again leaving the words that I feel the need to say weighing heavy upon my chest for the last year since my diagnosis I have finally opted to write it all down in your final letter from me.

So, I hope your sitting comfortably and I know that some of what I'm going to say won't be what you want to hear but give a dying man his final wish and read all this letter and forgive me for my many indiscretions and the frankness of my upcoming words.

Here we go

I have known you forever bro, from the days when you stumbled across me in the park kicking a ball and asked to join me for a game to the star you're becoming now and all the drama in the years between. Now I have so much to say so let's start from the beginning, this may be full of waffle but hey you know me I like to talk.

The Autumn that we started sixth form was when I began to notice some subtle changes in your behaviour, you didn't seem present when we were all hanging out instead you were constantly on your phone and the distance that you were creating between yourself and the boys by skipping out on parties and going missing at the weekends had me wondering why our jack the lad leader suddenly wasn't so interested in every girl that glanced in his general direction or why you didn't want to be with around us at weekends, our time with you was limited just like it was when you had been dating Jade.

Then you introduced Emily to us, and I knew right then that she was the changes in you, that dainty brunette had you spinning in a whirlwind that was taking you a long way from the road you were on previously.

Your love for each other was as clear in your eyes as it was in hers from day one. The way you protected her from the boys when they got a little flirty and waited for her to become available before you made any moves on her proved that you could be better than the guy that Jade had left you as, the lad who was using girls like they were just a piece of meat.

The screw up who only wanted to fight and fuck his way through London had gone and in his place was someone who could see his future clearly and what he could do with it beyond being an actor and model with a massive ego.

It didn't take me long to work out that she would be the cause of a wedge between us. You had told us she was just a friend, that she had a boyfriend, but when you started to threaten everyone with violence to stay away from when they showed any interest I could see right through your crap that she was just a mate from the agency who you had taken under your wing because she had no idea about the world of modelling or the ways of life in a city.

I had worked out that you liked her, I mean why else would you be spending all that tine with a girl like her when you got nothing out of it? But just like you I was blinded by her beauty and the softness of her friendship with you and the rest of us as the months went by. Only I didn't want friendship I wanted to woo her into my arms, I convinced myself that I was what she needed because unlike you who was waiting your turn I was desperate enough to jump ship and steal her away from Oliver and you so when Freddie confirmed what I had been desperate to ignore, that you fancied her too I had to rethink my game plan as I knew she liked you as more than a friend, I had no doubt that if you were on offer against me she would chose you every time.

Only In that moment I was told by Freddie that you needed her to help get you on the right path and I couldn't deny that you really did need her more than me, so as the weeks went by I stepped back and looked back in to the love film that was playing out in front of me and it was clear how much she returned your loving gaze, how lust filled her eyes were when she watched you and more than anything how her attention was always on you even when you were at opposite sides of the room.