Forgiveness, Trust & Forever

Emily

"I love you both but now you need to remember how much you love each other"

The words of my best friend are still ringing in my ears as Hero guides from the cubicle and back out towards the waiting room.

A feeling of confusion at Brandon's request is playing on my mind as we take the long walk down the corridor in silence, why would he ask this of us? I have made my feelings perfectly clear to both him and Hero on the matter and nothing is going to change the fact that we are over, done, finished, never to be recreated.

"Em" the gentle touch of Hero to my elbow sends a shudder throughout me "can we just take a minute?" He gestures towards the empty seating area set off to the side of the empty corridor.

I nod briefly needing to sit and absorb what has happened tonight, Brandon led there on his hospital bed looking like a slither of the built lad he used to be because now he is finally being stolen from us by the cancer, and then there is his crazy need for Hero and I to rehash over stuff that needs to remain buried and then I have a need to get this over with so I can head back to my hotel and face Hayden because after my attitude from earlier which clearly hurt his feelings I know I am going to have some apologising to do if I stand a chance of fixing that mess.

I watch as he rounds the table heading to the vending machine, grabbing us both a can of coke before taking a seat at the table I have been rooted next too.

Once his perfect ass is sat down, I take a seat at opposite side somehow knowing that the distance between us is the only thing that is going to save me if he pushes to bring up our past. After a shuffle in my seat to get comfortable in the smallest dress I could have ever opted for I finally let our eyes meet, Hero locks them together before he drags his away from my face and down to my larger than before breasts that are fighting for release from this tight as shit dress.

I wait for him to look back up and meet my gaze again knowing that I will be met with the blown out pupils that have given away his desires for me since the day we met, only back then I had no idea that he desired me like I did him, and with the thoughts alone I clench my thighs together letting out a sigh before I move my eyes back down to my hands that are resting on the table.

The moments of silence between us have my body running on pure anxiety, the intense stare that I know he is currently giving me without even having to look back up has me picking at the pearly white varnish on my nails destroying the perfect manicure that Hayden had treated me too when I had got so stressed out about coming to this party, coming to face everyone who has no idea of the realities of my life, seeing the people that I have been hiding from since my pregnancy became visible, facing them with Hayden by my side instead of Hero, the whole thought of it had me so stressed out that he sent me away to be pampered while he sat with my daughter at the hospital whilst sending me updates on how she was doing.

"Emme" and just like that my racing thoughts are interrupted again, dragging me back to the reality of my life in this moment "we need to do this, we need to say the words, to get everything out in the open once and for all" the slight quiver in his voice leaves an ache in my chest, the same ache that loving him through all the hard times always left deep within me.

"Hero we can't do this, nothing good can ever come from me and you digging up the past" I'm not stupid enough to think that dredging through our memories can fix things between us not now that they have all been poisoned "Emily" his soft tone is one I haven't experienced in so long now and if I'm honest with myself it's something that I do miss.....

He cuts me off again "is it really that difficult for you to find something good about our time together" wow, that is not what I expected "was I that shit a boyfriend, a fiancé?" The tears are sitting on the bottom of his eyelids as a ripping pain tears through me at the sight of his pain which now sits visibly across his face.