Forgiveness, Trust & Forever

White Party

BRANDON

White is not the way forward anymore for my pale ass. My naturally darker skin has faded and I look the closest to a ghost I ever have, my skin has a tinge of grey to it and any confidence I had before I got dressed has vanished "Ti man this is not working for me" I have always suited white and it was the one thing that always kept me confident around the ladies but for the first time ever I don't look or feel drool worthy in it "I defo won't have the girls falling at my feet tonight" I grumble as my plus one enters my bedroom taking in the white jeans with rips at the knees teamed with a white shirt and trainers on my feet.

"B man you look fine, and you really don't want any of that crazy lot falling at your feet" his infectious laughter breaks my sour mood instantly as I catch myself joining him thinking about how crazy some of those models are from previous experience thanks to Hero. I check out what Titan is wearing, his outfit like my own only he skipped the formal shirt and went with a Fred Perry polo instead "come on man the guys are going to be here soon" he gestures for me to follow him and I take one last look in the mirror before doing as I am told and following him.

I drag my pity party for one out of my bedroom joining him in my lounge just in time for the loud roar of voices to crash through my front door like an avalanche of snow in their all-white clothes. The ruckus of my boys kicks the door to my pity party closed, instead pulling me into the centre of them all as they wrap me in bro hugs, slapping me on the back and telling me that I'm looking good "you lot are shit liars but thanks for the attempt boys" I tell them hoping they don't pick up on my own self loathing of having to look this way.

A voice I was not expecting shouts over the noise of the rest of them "get out the way you fuckers, you have had your time this whole year, now it's mine" for the first since he left for Atlanta, I do not feel nervous to face him, I stopped carrying any resentment for him and instead I have been desperately trying to help fix his problems before its too late. The lanky star of our group floats through, his hierarchy to the rest of us still perfectly clear as he steps in front of me dressed head to toe in designer clothes, the white three piece teamed with this faithful air forces on his feet showing how far our boy has come already in achieving his dreams as he looks every inch the celebrity he now is.

"Brandon" he finally speaks after he has finished checking me over, I hold his gaze trying to read his mood, hoping that he is on the same page as me and this is not going to end up in a confrontation over Emily. I stand rigid as the atmosphere seems to shift and the rest of the boys fall silent around us, his arms lift as he pulls me into them embracing me like he has never done before. The shock of his behaviour takes me by surprise but I quickly snap myself out of my stunned state and wrap my arms around him, my hand patting him on the back as he mutters into my ear "I love you bro" a lump appears in my throat "I love you so fucking much" he continues as he grips me tighter, the silence around us is gone as our mates all erupt into cheers as they join us in one massive bro hug the love of our group of brothers clear in this moment know matter what is said or done between us the love will never truly die.

The familiar overwhelming feeling that I have been battling since I was told I was going to be attending this event is starting to rise again, my palms are getting clammy and my mouth is drying out, forcing my eyes closed praying for my racing heart to slow as the reality dawns on me that I am about to face a bunch of people I don't know while they stare at the sick bloke in the corner, that they will have been made aware of as the agency's chosen charity this year is linked directly with me and my damn cancer.

"Come on you sappy bunch of shits" Titan shouts over the noise and I make a mental note to thank him later for the interruption giving me some much needed breathing space as he ushers everyone back out the door leaving me stood with Hero still wrapped around me "H we need to move our arses bro" he slaps his little brother on the back forcing him to release me at last "You good B" he checks.