Loving Heart

KABANATA 49

Kabanata 49

Lunch

--

"Ayos na yan. Sa bahay ko nalang gagamutin," sabi ko.

Hindi sya nagsalita. Nagpatuloy lang sya sa pag gagamot na para bang walang narinig.

I sighed. "Maliit na sugat lang yan, Anton. Wag mo nang intindihin."

"No," he said.

Tsk. Inirapan ko ang kawalan at hinayaan nalang sya. I watched him treat my wound. He's very serious, I don't know what he's thinking.

Natigil na ako sa pag iyak pero ramdam ko pa rin ang pamamaga ng mga mata ko. I took a deep breath. Naiinis pa rin ako sa sarili ko dahil ang dali dali ko nang umiyak. Pero atleast nakahingi ako ng tawad kay Anton. Medyo gumaan na ang pakiramdam ko.

I really don't blame him for what happened then. I was just too carried away by my emotions. I was just too angry. Now I realize I was wrong. Hindi ko dapat binubunton sa iba ang galit na para sa sarili ko lang. Nagkamali ako.

Nilagyan ni Anton ng band aid ang sugat ko pagkatapos nyang pahiran ng bulak na may betadine. After that, he put away the things he used. Mabilis naman na akong tumayo para maka alis na agad roon.

"Thank you for this. Mauuna na ako," sabi ko.

My car is just nearby. I have my own parking space. I was about to walk there when Anton called me again.

"Victoria," he called.

I sighed and faced him. "What?"

Naligpit na nya ang first aid kit box. He closed the door of his car and leaned slightly in it. He crossed his arms.

"Hindi mo pa sinasagot ang tanong ko," he said seriously.

Natigil ako sandali at naalala ang tanong nya kanina. I cleared my throat  and pretended not to remember what he said.

"Anong tanong?"

He smirked. He removed his crossed arms and walked closer to me. Kinabahan agad ako.

"Wag ka nang magpanggap. Answer my question," he said.

He was already close to me and I don't know if I would step back or stay where I was. Pero hindi ako pwedeng umatras dahil baka malaman nya na kinakabahan pa rin ako sa kanya!

"I'm not pretending. Ano ngang tanong?" Nagpatuloy ako sa pagpapanggap.

He chuckled. "Alright. You can't remember. Then I will ask you again."

Naitikom ko ang bibig ko. Bwisit. Hindi nya talaga palalagpasin yon.

"You don't really love me anymore?" He asked, a bit serious now.

Hindi ako agad nakasagot. Because I don't really know what to answer. I don't want to lie anymore but if he finds out the truth now, what will happen? Magkakaroon kami ng relasyon? And what about Elise? Kahit sinabi nyang ayos na sa kanya ang lahat, alam kong may pagtingin pa rin sya kay Anton.

I looked at Anton waiting for my answer. Kinagat ko ang labi ko dahil hindi ko alam kung paano ito malulusutan.

Anong sasabihin ko? I can't deny that because I don't know if I can still deny it. I feel like I will hurt him again when I say no kaya anong sasabihin ko?

His eyes dropped down to my lips. He swallowed hard and tried to look at my eyes again. My heart was pounding so hard now and I feel like I was going to have a heart attack with so much nervousness.

"I'm asking you, Victoria," he said again.

Kinunot ko ang aking noo at nagdesisyon na. Bahala na nga. Ano naman kung malaman nya? It's not as if when I say I still love him until now we will immediately have a relationship. Of course I will not allow that.