Loving Heart

KABANATA 30

Kabanata 30

Sorry

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Irene:
Can we meet? Day off mo tomorrow, right? Let's bonding!

I sighed as I read Irene's text. I know she's inviting me to go out not because of my Kuya, but because we're not able to bond these past few days. Magkaibigan naman kami kahit papaano. And Irene is clingy. She always wants to bond with her friends. Kahit maarte at minsan maselan, masaya pa rin sya sa simpleng pagsasama sa mga kaibigan nya.

I lay down on my bed and sighed. Kanina nang makarating kami, masayang masaya si Elise. Nalaman nya kasi syempre na walang girlfriend si Anton. But she was sad because he said he wanted to court someone. She assumes that it's her. Masaya naman daw kasi si Anton kapag magkasama sila kaya baka daw sya ang gusto nitong ligawan.

Hindi na ako nagkomento roon. Bukod sa pagod ako, mabigat rin ang loob ko. I feel like Elise is slowly getting away from me. I feel like I don't know her anymore. In just one moment, my sister suddenly disappeared. I don't know but that's how I feel. Pakiramdam ko hindi ko na sya kilala dahil sa mga sinasabi nya tungkol kay Anton. Naisip ko parang hindi mabuti sa kanya ang magustuhan si Anton. Not because I like Anton too but because her behavior changes because of that. She's becoming aggressive. It's not bad at all pero kasi...

I sighed. Bahala na nga. I looked at my cellphone and typed a reply for Irene. Tama sya at day off ko bukas sa coffee shop at sabado pa kaya walang pasok. So I agreed.

I also have nothing to do tomorrow. If I stay here in my room, I might just be eaten up by my sadness. It's better to just go out to freshen up. Hindi ko alam pero parang may mabigat talagang nakadagan sa puso ko.

Anton texted me again that night. I just did a little reply and said goodbye immediately. I reasoned that I'm tired and wanted to go to sleep. Hindi naman nya ako pinilit at hinayaan na ako.

Kahit papaano nalulungkot at nasasaktan ako sa sitwasyon ko. Sa sitwasyon namin. I never thought we would reach this point. And I don't know how far it will go. I just hope that his feelings will change. Na sa paglalapit nila ni Elise, mapupunta sa kanya ang atensyon nya.

Natulog akong mabigat ang pakiramdam dahil sa mga iniisip. It hurts me to think of those but what else can I do? I love my sister. Handa akong magparaya kahit masaktan pa ako ng todo. After all, she's my twin. And I still believe that this feelings will not last. It will be gone soon, I'm sure of that.

"Are you okay?" Tanong ni Irene na nakapag pagising sa akin.

"Oo naman," I smiled at her.

Medyo na-guilty ako na magkasama kami pero tulala at lumilipad ang utak ko.

Nandito kami sa mall. Dito nya napiling makipag kita. Kami lang dalawa ang magkasama. Sabi nya kami muna daw at wag munang isama si Elise dahil matagal na kaming hindi nakakapag bonding.

"Kanina ka pa mukhang lutang. What are you thinking ba?" Maarte nyang tanong.

We are here in an expensive restaurant. Treat nya kaya hinayaan ko nalang na dito kumain. Lunch ngayon. Marami na kaming nagawa. We watched a movie and after that she went shopping. Inabot kami ng tanghali sa pagsho-shopping nya kaya kumakain na muna kami ngayon. She still has plans for us to do later and that's okay with me. Mas gusto ko nga para hindi ko na maisip pa ang mga problema ko.

"Wala. Pagod lang ako sa pagtatrabaho kagabi. But I'm fine. Gusto ko pang pumunta sa kahit saan."

She smiled. "You want to go to Tagaytay?"

My eyes widened. "Tagaytay?"

"Yup! Wala naman tayong pasok bukas. And it looks like you have a problem so you need to relax. We have a house there so magbakasyon na muna tayo."