Loving Heart

KABANATA 37

Kabanata 37

Angry

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Days passed. Naging sobrang busy na nga kami para sa nalalapit na exam. Jaz, Kyle and I are still always at the library. We only go to the cafeteria once because apart from a lot of literature, there are also a lot of people hanging out there since valentines. Maraming couples na ang pumupunta roon para kumain at maglandian.

Those days were very hectic but I managed it all because somehow I wanted to be this busy. While Jaz is always complaining. Palagi daw masakit ang ulo nya at akala nya pumapangit na sya dahil sa pagpupuyat. Hindi nalang namin sya pinapansin ni Kyle.

"You're going home already?" Tumayo si Anton nang lumabas ako sa locker room.

Sandali akong natigilan pero nakabawi rin naman agad.

"Uh... yup. May mga homeworks ako at kailangan ko ring magreview para sa nalalapit na exam."

He nodded slowly. "Alright. Uh... may sundo ka ulit?"

"Oo, eh. Gusto ko na kasing makauwi agad kaya hindi na ako nagba-bike."

He nodded again and sighed. Nag iwas ako ng tingin at naglakad na palabas. Sumunod sya sa akin. We always talk like this every time I go home. Marami naman talaga akong ginagawa pero alam kong kahit wala akong ginagawa, ganon pa rin ang sasabihin ko dahil desidido talaga akong umiwas.

"Bye..." he smiled a bit when we got to our SUV.

I was already sitting inside and the door is not yet closed. Bahagya rin akong ngumiti at tumango. Nagpaalam rin ako at mabilis nang sinarado ang pintuan.

It's always like that. Nag uusap kami pero palaging sandali lang. Sa school halos hindi rin kami nagkikita dahil busy rin sya sa pag aaral nya. Kahit sa coffee shop marami syang binabasa. Alam kong hindi sya masyadong makapag focus sa binabasa kapag nasa coffee shop sya pero panay pa rin syang nandoon. I sighed because I know why he's always there.

"Naiistorbo ka ng mga tao. Mag aral ka nalang sa condo mo," sabi ko isang araw naghatid ako ng order nya.

Nag angat sya ng tingin sa akin at alam kong bahagya syang nagulat na ako pala ang naglalagay ng mga order nya. He was so busy and serious about what he was reading that he didn't noticed me.

"I'm fine. I can focus," he said and smiled, happy because I talked to him.

I sighed. "Hindi mo naman kailangang pumunta pa rito para lang makita ako. Mag aral ka sa condo mo, mas tahimik roon."

He smiled again. "You're worried about me. I'm okay with this, Victoria."

"No, you're not."

"It's better to study in a crowd place like this as long as you're there than study in my quiet condo without you around."

Palaging ganon ang sinasabi nya kapag sinasabi ko sa kanya yon. Minsan naiirita ako pero mapilit sya. He really doesn't want to study in his condo. Gusto nya dito, kung saan nakikita nya ako.

It was as if my heart is slowly breaking in pieces. Parang pinipiga hanggang sa madurog na ito ng todo.

Paano nya nagagawang pahirapan palagi ang sarili nya para lang makita ako? Mas lalo lang akong nasasaktan sa ginagawa nyang ito.

"Huy! Tulala ka?" Puna ni Jaz na nandito na pala sa library.

Umupo sya sa harapan ko at inayos ang bag nya. Tumingin sya sa akin pagkatapos.

Hindi ako sumagot. Bumuntong hininga lang ako at nagpatuloy sa pagbabasa at pagsusulat.

"May problema ba?" She asked again.