Undeniable (MxM)

Ifs and What Ifs

*I'm very much alive🙈*

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"...they found some lead on his mother..."

Ant's heart skips a beat at that and his hold around Dec tightens as he heard the smaller man gasp in shock.

Ant: "Is she..."

Simon: "We don't know. They won't tell me. They need to speak to Tony... in person"

Dec: "No!! No...no, we can't let that happen!! No!"

Ant: "Deccey..."

Dec: "What?! We can't let him go through that! He is just a kid!"

Ant sighs heavily at that "We knew this was going to happen, baby..."

Simon: "Nobody wants him to go through this Declan, but there isn't any way... if we need answers..."

Dec: "I don't need any answers! He is fine and safe and happy and that's what's important!"

Ant tightens his hold around Dec and shakes his head "It might be for us, but what about him? He needs this, Declan... He needs to know..."

Dec whimpers at that in protest "He is only little..."

Ant: "But matured enough to ask questions. You have heard him, he needs to know Declan. It's not fair that he is left in the dark..."

Simon: "Ant is right, Declan. He needs this"

Dec: "But- can we...can we be with him when they do that.."

Simon: "I'll see to it that it happens.  I will talk to them. Don't worry Dec, he won't be alone in this"

Dec: "O-kay..."

Ant: "Thank you, Si. And keep us posted... I will let you know when we board the plane.

Simon agrees to that and as the call ends, Ant gently tugs Dec closer to him and kisses the brown hairs tucked beneath his chin.

Dec: " I am afraid..." He whimpers broken

Ant: "So am I..."

Dec's heart skips a beat at that response and he stares into his husband's eyes surprised.

Dec: "I- I have never heard you say that...I mean I know you do feel that, but- you...you never accepted it. You never acknowledged it....ever!"

Ant huffs at that and slowly takes Dec's hand to kiss his knuckles "I always thought that, accepting my fear,  sharing it with someone else,  and brooding on it... are all worthless.  But now...this... I can't do this alone. I thought I was strong to go through anything life throws at me but- but the past couple of months showed me that I am not.... that I am just another human being... and I need you..."

Dec's heart flutters and tugs at that and he brings his head to rest on Ant's shoulder.

Dec: "You will never be alone... you will always have me"

Ant smiles a little at that and once again places a gentle kiss on Dec's head.

Ant: "He will be fine... I promise you...."

Dec smiled at that nods, before asking quietly: "Anth... what if they find his mother?"

Ant: "If they?! I wish they do!"

Dec: "Oh" he mumbles dejectedly

Ant sighs heavily at that response and gently caresses Dec's arm "Think about this from his shoes, Declan. She is his mother. The one person he keeps asking us about. He needs his answers, baby ...and if this investigation can lead us to her, imagine how happy he will be? It's about him..."