Zanvis || Colors

65

time skip...

"Travis, Zane, take your meds okay?" I heard Zianna call to us. Zane was in the bathroom and i was on the couch.
Shes trusting us to take our pills by ourselves?-
"Well be fine, Travis. Weve been doing this for about 3 months now, only this time Zianna wont give them to us."
O-okay- youre right. Itll be fine. We have the 7 months in the ward too..
"Exactly." 
I got up and walked over to the cabinet where the pills were. Instead of them being locked up though, they were out on the counter. I nervously reached for the bottle and popped the lid off, shaking one into my hand and taking it like normal. I looked at the pill bottle, the freedom was there. I could have taken more if i wanted to. I got flashbacks to when i was taking handfuls at a time like they were candy. I started shaking more, remembering seeing my dad tell me it wasn't my time, waking up in the shower throwing up. Dante looked scared to death.. and then i remembered how he said hed done that to Gene before. I think thats sad really.. the fact youve saved your older brother multiple times from drug overdose. Dante really is a hero. I walked back over to the couch to sit down and read a book on my phone. Zane came out into the living room and looked at me confused.
"What?" I asked equally confused looking up at him over the couch.
"My pills are out.?"
"Oh, yeah, Zianna said to take them." I explained watching him, making sure he only takes one. He did, but looked at it for a long time.
"Zane.. You okay baby.?" He didnt answer. "Zane."
"Yeah?" He looked up at me, putting the lid back on his medicine bottle and walked away.
"Just making sure youre okay." I explained. He came over and sat on the other end of the couch. I continued reading.
"Yeah im fine." The fine sounded bleak or painful..
"Zane whats going on in your head right now?" He ignored the question. I put my foot on his lap (i have socks on!) "i wont move it until you tell me whats wrong. Do u want to sniff it too?" I joked moving it up a bit. That brought a smile to his face, creating one to appear on my face as well.
"I looked into the mirror too long thats all."
"What happened when you did that.?" I pushed further.
"I saw the old me. I wondered if that's who i should be instead of Zane..."
"No. You're Zane.. If you want top surgery then get it alright? Everyone who loves you is going to be right behind you when you do it." I explained hoping it would help, "Besides love, that binder of yours is going to strangle you to death.. your ribs are bruised i think you need a break from it.."
Zane glanced up at me. I was expecting some empty look but he looked.. sad and defeated. Zane wasnt a cryer, but he looked like he might break down into tears at any second. "Come here, Zuzu." I spread my legs so he could lay between them and i could play with his hair to calm him down. He didnt hesitate he got comfortable in his spot and stared off into the distance as i ran my fingers through his hair gently.
We both heard a familiar sound and he looked up at me, and i looked down at him. It was Garroth up in his room supposed to be 'hanging out' with Laurence but it sounded other wise. We tried not to laugh and he went back to laying down on my lap. He sat up and i saw my dad's shadow appear.
"Oh hello, Terry."
"Hi dad. Its been awhile. How have you been?" I asked excitedly. I saw Zane listening to him, he was the interpreter.
"He says hes good. And.. oh boy.."
"What.?" I was concerned from his hesitation. His face turned a deep red as he answered.
"He asked if Demon used protection..." zane whispered to me, hiding his face. I turned a bright red and looked up at my dad's shadow. "DAD!! That was a while ago too why are you bring it up now-?"
"He said he was just asking." Zane said still hiding his face. And the answer was no.. that wasnt even a thought in the moment, maybe it should have been.
"Well that's great.. thank you for still embarrassing me even in the afterlife."
I looked at Zane again as if listening once more. "He said he likes what were doing for the house, and that he's overheard talk about college. He wants to know if youre going to one after you graduate?"
"I guess. I havent really looked because i have to pass junior year first but i was planning on going to a community college." I explained. I didn't have much hope for a self taught musician who has only made covers. I didn't think much of playing the piano either, it was more of a hobby I guess. Maybe im not giving myself enough credit- I don't know. Id just like to pass high school in one piece.
We talked about college and moving on with our lives. Summer was coming around soon and wed be seniors... I can't believe all of this was happening to us and we were only sophomores and juniors in high school. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if we had normal lives, if none of this ever happened.. If we actually made it through high school without any drama, or cruel jokes, or odd stares as if it were our faults any of this happened to us... or even any problems at all. One thing I learned from being in the looney bin was that whatever happened to me was my issue and it doesn't define who I am, I do. I remembered a rumor being started asking if I had any std's after.. and that a few football players caught chlamydia from me. I was scared at first, but the fact that someone would start something that stupid over a traumatic experience I had made me realize she wanted attention and found out the hard way her boyfriend was cheating on her. I moved on and kept my chin up as high as I could. I had to, if I didn't I would be stepped on and that cant happen any more. I learned that from Zane, there is no freeze option any more; its flight or fight.
we decided to take a nap on the couch to calm down from the stress.