Zanvis || Colors

46

[ m y g o d  d a m n f a u l t ]

I woke up early in the morning.. My mom was up early, working from home because of me. I walked down the stairs and over to her.
"Mom.. i should have told you.. but Travis and i got in a fight.."
"Yes, Garroth told me about your nightmare." She frowned.
"I need to go find him and apologize. Ill be back okay?"
"Wear at least hoodie, it's cold!" she called after me. I did put my hoodie and leather jacket on and started walking towards Travis's house. I had my phone on me, so i was listening to music in my earbuds. I tried listening to Melanie Martinez instead of anything else too depressing but it was hard to. I put on Play Date, one of the most upbeat songs of hers that i liked. Ein gave me a pack of cigarettes before school ended for me, there was no explanation but he did.. it was like he knew something was wrong with me. I didn't even dare to think of using them until now.. I pulled the pack out of my pocket, taking one out of the box and sticking it in my mouth. I lit it and puffed on it. I was coming up on Travis's house and noticed the lights were on, so i figured he was there. I finished my cig, throwing it down on the sidewalk, stomping on it and going up to the door. I knocked on it twice gently, and it opened up just a crack. I walked in confused, i thought Travis was there to open the door but it wasn't.. in fact no one was there.
"Travis? Hello? Where did you go.?" I said the last part to myself. I felt a strange presence, like someone was watching me. It felt like someone was trying to get through to me. I heard a knock on the wall next to me, which made me jump. I pushed it off though, it could have been the house settling. I searched for Travis in the bedroom and in the living room, he wasn't anywhere. There was a glass that shattered on the counter right in front of me, causing me to jump.
"okay- so that was Terry trying to talk to me- hi-" I haven't been able to talk with ghosts in such a long time.. it was almost like i saw an outline of Terry next to the glass, like he was trying to manifest himself. So youre the boy my son loves huh? i heard in my head.
"That's me sir.." I was nervous, he was communicating to me threw visions so it wasn't like i heard his voice out loud or anything.
Well i want you to know that you also hurt my boy. you know he's been through a lot and i want you to protect him.
"I came here to apologize to him.. but where is he?"
Dante
"Thank you.. i wish i could have met you. Now save your energy- i promise ill find Travis for you." I said running out of the house, closing the door.
I started running to Dante's remembering that when we first met he was at Dante's for a party. The cold air was making it hard for my lungs to handle running. I found Travis's phone not too far from the house. I picked it up and continued to run to Dante's trying to catch Gene and him before leaving for school. I pounded on the door out of breath. Gene answered thank god. Oh yea he's living with Dante and their step mom now.
"Oh Zane it's you, you scared us half to death- what is going on man are you alright?"
"No-" I held his phone up and caught my breath. "I found it on the sidewalk, travis isn't home." Gene turned to Dante who was also listening.
"He headed home last night around 9- you said he isn't home?!" He sounded genuinely worried.
"Mom, were going to find a missing friend!" Gene yelled, the boys ran out of the door with me, starting to search everywhere. We split up after awhile, Dante stayed on this road, i went over a few blocks and Gene started going down the creepy neighborhood close to the outskirts of the city.
God this was all my fault. My fault Travis was alone in the first place. Now he was taken again- MOTHER FUCKER!! GOD DAMNNIT! I FUCKING WISH I WAS DEAD!! This is all my fault! maybe the dreams were right, if i would just leave his life he wouldn't be hurt ever again..
Me: anything yet
Gene: no but this would be the spot to take him

i put my phone in my pocket and started searching again. Running through the neighborhood calling his name. Out of fear i called Garroth.
"Yes, Zane?"
"Travis is fucking missing- it's my fault Garroth. He got taken or something bad. He was with Dante and - and now he isn't home. I found his phone on the sidewalk-"
"Zane calm down- we will find him okay? Ill get in my car and come search okay?"
"Wait- Gene texted me! He thinks he found him! Ill call you back-" I hung up and started running to the scary, worn down neighborhood on the outskirts of the city where Gene was and claims he found Travis. I booked it so fast, i didn't care if the crisp morning air burned my lungs i ran as fast as i could to find the love of my life and tell him how sorry i was. Id kill the mother fucker who did this to him.

---

I laid there on the ground, still curled up in a ball. My open wounds burned. It hurt to move. I was freezing, i couldn't feel my fingers. I was shaking.
"Travis get dressed.. you have to.. i can't do it for you, youre too weak to change on command.. do you want to live or not cmon- Travis do something- well die if you don't get dressed for the love of god at least do that!"
I couldn't. I couldn't move at all.. shades of grey all over the place.. not a single color in sight. I heard footsteps rushing up on me, and who popped around the corner surprised me. At first all i saw was a tall dark shadow reaching down for me but i opened my eyes when i noticed he squatted down by me; it was Gene.
"..Travis.. buddy what happened..?" He talked quietly to me. I couldn't respond to him though. My energy level was down and i had done nothing but scream all night. "Let me dress you okay..?" He reached for my clothes and went to put my pants on first, but i shook my head no. As much as i trusted Gene i didn't want him to touch me. I didn't want anyone to touch me.. He tried again, "Travis- i know youre scared, but it's me okay? It's Gene.. you need your clothes on or youll freeze.. I won't call the police if you get dressed for me.." He explained. I didn't want to go to the hospital, i wanted to be safe in a casket 6 feet under. But honestly no, i didn't want that attention. I didn't want to talk about what happened to anyone yet.
"Get dressed stubborn prick. What would dad think of you thinking that way?" Demon brought dad into it which was unfair, but effective. He was probably watching me right now, he saw how much of a failure i was for letting this happen. How weak i was for giving in, letting those animals hurt me and shove codeine down my throat. I decided to let Gene dress me. He didn't say a word about my scratches, hickys, or bite marks, he just got me dressed and picked me up bridal style. I cried out all my tears, i screamed out my voice. I couldn't do anything but let him carry me back to the house. I heard two sets of shoes run up on Gene and i got a death grip on him.
"Shh it's okay.. it's just Dante and Zane..."
"W-what happened Gene-?!" Dante said confused and scared. He sounded afraid of me..
"Im not sure but i have a pretty good idea.. lets get him back to his house.." Gene said. He oddly knew that is where i wanted to go. Home.. to my home.
"fuck.. this is all my god damn fault.. im so so sorry travis.."  I could hear the panic and self hatred in his voice. The same small tone he gave when he was about to cry his eyes out.
"Zane do not talk like that again. This was not your fault." Gene scolded him. He carried me back to the house, where he set me down on the bed.
"Dante go get some water for him." Gene said to his brother, "Zane go start the shower for Travis. The best we can do is make him feel clean.." I saw Zane and Dante leave the room to go do so. He turned to me and just stared at me. I knew he wanted to probably grab my face, play with my hair, hug me do something, anything! but i couldn't handle it and something deep down in Gene knew that just by looking at me.
"Travis let him help you please.. Cmon you have to let either him or Zane help you.. what if your cuts get infected? You were outside in an ally on the ground with open wounds..-" Demon sounded so worn down. I just couldn't bring myself to do it, the pain was too much.
"Travis.. the shower is ready okay..? Do you want me to help you..?" Gene asked. Zane came back in the room and looked at me. I couldn't bare to look at him, I hated him. I forgot we broke up.
"Wait why do you get to be in the bathroom with him.?"
"I didn't fight with him, he let me pick him up that's why. You don't understand Zane.. I love you dude but you are so self centered when it comes to Travis. If he doesn't want you to 'protect' him then he doesn't want you to, don't force it." Gene said down to Zane. He turned pale and sat down. "Cmon now.. the shower is ready you need wash off those scratches.." Gene said, I tried standing, the pain was too much, I was weak. I made a little noise because I couldn't speak still.
"Thank you... thank you Travis.. youre doing great.. just a little more energy and I can take control for a bit okay..? get through the shower.."
Gene picked me up and took me to the shower. The water burned my cuts and scratches, causing me to start crying and yell out. My voice cracked and sounded like i had been sick for awhile.
"It's okay, bud, let it out.. i know it hurts.." Gene comforted me, letting me take my time.
I sat on the ground in the shower because I was too weak to stand. Gene didn't care that I was fully naked, he was there for me to wash my hair. I scrubbed my body hard and had the water boiling, causing my skin to stain red. It was the only way I could feel clean... the only way I could stand myself..