Zanvis || Colors

70

[ c o l o r t h e o r y ]

After finding out Lucy was pregnant and the question of us ever having a child in the future came up, Travis has been on edge. He's been on his laptop and phone nonstop for the past few days.
"Travis?" I started, walking into my room from using the restroom, finding him on his laptop again.
"Hm?" He asked never looking up. I sat down on the bed next to him,
"What have you been doing? You've been on your laptop for three days now.. What are you doing?" I asked. He sighed and looked up at me.
"I've been thinking a lot. And doing some research. When Lucinda asked if we were having kids i flipped out. I started thinking about the colors again. They haven't been gone since we got back from our hospital visits.. So i kind of forgot about them."
"And? What does this have to do with a kid..?" I was curious as to how he would connect these dots.
"Well.. from what i remember, i lost my colors when my parents started ruining their relationship. So my guess is that from my traumatic experience, i lost my colors. Do you know when you lost yours?"
"Im not sure. I was definitely still young, probably middle school when i started getting bullied and about the time my dad started raising his voice at my mom."
"Okay so traumatic experiences might be the cause of colors to be disappearing. I've tried finding reddit pages and other discussions on websites about colors but not a lot of people are taking it seriously. One or two of them said that they lost their colors after a bad breakup or.. or when their pet died. But no one has talked about them affecting their kids or noticed when they permanently stayed."
"Travis.. Don't you think you're spiraling again?" I placed my hand on his arm.
"No, i don't. I think this is serious. If we adopt a kid how are we supposed to know if they have colors too? They might think it's normal. I don't want our kid to be unhappy."
"It's a little soon to be thinking about this, hun.."
"What if we decide to have a kid, and what if that problem is passed down to them? I'd feel terrible if that happened."
"I know you would but we will probably have to adopt. I was hoping to get both surgeries after high school. I think you are thinking way too hard about this right now though.." My white haired boyfriend didn't say anything. I felt like i needed to reassure him again. "Trav, hunny, listen.. I don't think we need to decide if were going to have children this very moment. I think we need to focus on graduating, and applying for college. We can think of getting married, a house, children.. all in the future after we graduate. Okay?" I started rubbing his hand, trying to get him to calm down. He finally nodded. This didn't feel like it was too helpful, but he shut his laptop and nodded again sighing.
"You're right... school first, then college, then graduation again, and then the rest.." He repeated. I nodded.
"Right.. good. Now, if you're going to be looking anything up on that laptop of yours it should be colleges you want to apply too." I gave him a small smile. My boyfriend stayed silent for awhile. I moved to my desk to start doodling in my sketchbook. Thinking about it all sounded so crazy. Lucinda was having her first child, we were about to graduate high school, start college, start a life together maybe. Besides the child conversation, Travis got all hung up on the colors and trying to figure them out all of a sudden. Im not sure what brought this upon him..

~~~

"This is it." I said to Travis. He leaned over my shoulder and looked at my computer screen.
"Are you ready?" He asked me. I turned back to my screen and nodded, clicking the mouse. I just hit submit on my very last assignment of the year. That final click was for my freedom... I did what i didn't think i was capable of doing- making it through high school. I proved my middle school self wrong big time. I made it through high school, barley in one piece but i did, and found a partner, and received treatment.
"We're done.." I said in disbelief.
"We're done! We made it!" Travis exclaimed jumping around behind me. It brought a smile to my face. After everything we've been through, this obstacle was finally behind us. With this now behind us, we have greater obstacles to hurdle. Travis turned my chair around and grabbed my face. "Im so proud of you!" After he let go i laughed.
"I guess we should go to tell mom, huh?" I asked. He nodded and followed me out of my bedroom. My mom was in the living room reading a book.
"Hey mom, guess what?" I started, she looked up from her book.
"What?"
"We finished!" I exclaimed with a smile on my face. It felt nice to genuinly smile again. She put the bookmark between her pages, shutting it abruptly. She stood up hugging us both tight.
"Oh boys that is wonderful! I'm so proud of you! We should celebrate sometime this week with your friends." She said pulling back. I nodded in agreement, and she hugged me again. "Oh Zuzu, im so proud of you, hunny." It sounded like she might cry, i hoped she wouldn't. I couldn't stand to see her cry over me. I will admit, i have been through a lot this year and im surprised that i did it too. Even after i made it to high school, which i thought wouldn't happen, i passed and finished school after getting treatment and being bullied. Honestly im not sure if i even remember all the things that has happened to me: Garroth broke my hand, i got into a fight, went to the ward.. it was a crazy year for sure...