Charli | I Love You Forever & Always

Ch. 28

Jules POV
I jolted up as I was woken from a dream, it was pitch black and charli was to my left sleeping peacefully still. All these thoughts came rushing into my head, the voice I had so long ago was back,
'U don't deserve her'
'U ruin every relationship u have'
'U not enough and never will be'

No, no , no this can't be fucking with my head again , I started to slowly panick, I can't be here. I got up and put on some shoes and a hoodie since I was in sweats and a sports bra, i grabbed my phone and car keys and headed upstairs , my hands were shaking uncontrollably and I could focus on what I was doing, I can't call Jaden he's here with nikki, ness ok ness
I called her once no response
I called her twice no response
I called her the third and she picked up
Ness:
Jules ? Why r u calling me at 4 in th morning
I-I can't-t ness-s I-it's h-happening a-again i-I don't know w-what to do
Ok ok shhh shh deep breath Jules in and out inhale exhale Where r u
I-in my car i-in front of C-charli's
Ok, ok don't go anywhere, don't do anything to yourself ok, anything! whose there
E-very o-n-ne
Ok I need u to go back inside for me please I know yoh have tempting items in your car
I-I can't n-ess no one c-can see me like t-this
Jules it'll be ok everyone in that house loves you especially charli I need to make sure your ok inside
Ness I
Jules go inside
Ok
I'm on my way ok, remember the mechanisms the therapist told u to do
Ok
Alright I'm on way
__________________________

I dropped my phone and placed my head on the stirring wheel, I cried and wished in these moments I still had my mom she always knew what to say to me, I've always had anxiety since I was little, over time it's gotten worse and the doctor put me prescription for a bit but I stopped taking it. I rubbed my eyes and headed back inside, it still felt like I couldn't breath and my thoughts telling me to do things to myself that only got louder, j could've in the car knowing I had razors,alcohol and vapes so I made my way inside and I slide down the wall next to the door, I couldn't move I kept shaking As I curled into a ball on the floor crying.

Nikki POV
I was asleep with j and I heard ruffling around downstairs,I've always been a light sleeper so I woke up I decided to head downstairs to see what it was. I looked in the kitchen and nothing, living room nothing I looked at the door and there was someone on the floor crying, I got closer and it looked like Jules?
"Jules?"
She didn't move but she responded
J: y-yeah
"Hey hey deep breath's ok"
I was in front of her as I held her and she wouldn't stop shaking I don't know what to do, I know I've had a fair share of panicked attacks myself but this was different before I knew it there was a soft knock on the door
J: I-it's n-nessa can u-u open I-t
"Yeah"
I got up and opened the door and ness was standing there with something in her hand
N: where is she
"Right here" I opens the door fully and she went down to Jules quickly and was talking to her quietly
N: Nikki can u get water pls
"Yeah" I went to the kitchen and got them a glass of water 

She gave her pills and she took them and she was calmer now
N: Jules
J:Yeah
N: U need to tell charli
J: I know
"Tell her what"
J: u tell her
N: Jules has had a past of anxiety and depression but because she has abused her body so much with intoxicating herself it takes a long time to get her body back to being 100%, constantly checking her blood, and her brain but she has had anxiety  since she was little and this happens every so often
"oh I never knew"
N: no one knows but me Jaden and your mom

Charli POV
I woke up and heard voices upstairs, I looked to my right and no Jules. I got up and headed upstairs and Nikki, Jules and nessa? We're there

Ness: no one knows but me jaden and your mom
C: no one knows what?
They  all looked at me and I made eye contact with Jules and her eyes were red and puffy, she hid her face in her hands and ness whispered something to her
Ness: I'm gonna go now u guys thankyou for actually calling me Jules