Charli | I Love You Forever & Always

Ch. 38 pt 2

Dixie: sure Can I talk to you Jules in private
"Uh yeah sure, ness can we go upstairs"
Ness: ofc
She let go of my thighs I didn't even realize she had her hands on and then I walked upstairs with Dixie until we got a guest bedroom closing the door..... here's to an awkward conversation

I sat down on the bed and stood there and sighed sitting next to me laying down
D: what's going on with u I feel like I don't even know u anymore Jules, I never thought you'd cheat well I  never thought that my sister would either but here we are
"Dixie I haven't changed"
D: I know u haven't sorry it's just im in a tough spot here with the both of you my sister and best friend
"I get that im sorry I didn't mean for any of this to happen being honest"
D: I had a feeling you didn't, your too kind for this world sometimes Jules until someone back stabes you although, but r u ok? Like rlly
"Im fine"
D: no I'm talking abt the bathroom incident
"Oh"
D: yeah I don't even know what happened after but I found u drunk on a hill with Landon barker
"I remember getting the alcohol
D: how much did u buy
"You can check my car to find out Dixie"
D: jeez what abt Landon
"I remember vaguely, but i know nothing happened surprisingly"
D: seemed like he was trying to actually be a friend Idk I was lowkey kinda rude
"So surprising"
D: shut up
"Haha, what happens after"
D: I picked up Nessa to drive your car back and we came here and she took care of you while I went to find charli
"I remember somewhat the end of the day"
D: yeah when we took you away from that whiskey
"Your so funny"
D: um soo Nessa what's happening there
"I can't even tell you"
D: but u kissed
"Yeah"
D: once?
"Not exactlyyy"
D: did u-?
"No no no we didn't but we kissed a couple times"
D: better than what I thought, wait what happened to Jaden like the other one Jaden smith
"I have no clue"
D: oh
"Dixie she said she liked me since before we were friends"
D: that's a um a long time
"Yeah I know"
D: and charli?
"We broke up this morning"
D: oh
"I still love her "
D: but
"I think we need to take a break and figure our selves out or myself before I pursue something else with her"
D: fair enough
"But it hurts"
D: i know it does charli gets caught up in the heat of the moment and says things she doesn't mean
"Or do you mean do things she doesn't mean"
D: what do u mean
"She didn't tell u"
D: tell me what
"She slapped me"
D: wow I- idk what To say
"I said when she's mature enough to talk then to call me"
D: who broke up with who
"I did"
D: oh
"Yeah idk where my head is right now if I'm being honest now I have this soccer scholarship for college that I committed to and"
D: drop the scholarship
"I can't"
D: you can't handle it
"Dixie"
D: your taking up too much on your plate, music, tour, modeling and now this whole thing plus your businesses and social media
"Maybe your right"
D: maybe or you know I'm right
"Your right it's just been my dream to play soccer since I was little at a big time school and now I have it"
d: do what your heart wants, that's for everything
"Yeah"
D: I well let's go downstairs now
"U go I'll stay I'm gonna write"
D: ok Mrs. song writer do your thing

I took out a piece of paper and pencil after Dixie left and I starting writing songs for an hour 4 songs in total

-virtual reality
~I don't wanna live on the internet~

-would I
~Most nights I am not sober, LA is making me colder~

-it's not your fault
~ it's hot your fault I'm better on my own~

-loner
~avoidance never heals but it sure feels good~

I was done and decided to record loner right now in nessa's small studio set up I ran downstairs passing my friends int the room and closed the door going in to both

~Loner~
They said avoidance never heals but it sure feels good
Gonna stay here a couple more minutes than I should
Going to take a couple shots I know my feelings
Instead of dealing with my problems I just stare at the ceilings
Avoidance never heals but it sure feels good
I know I said I'd stop before a drown
But I don't like the feeling of coming down
Yeah, I'm a loner
And I like it that way
I like a dark room
With nobody but painnn
And I don't need permission to feel sad
And I don't need no witness to have my back
Cause I'm a loner and I like it that way
And I like it that way
And I like it that way
I'm always by myself cuz that's what feels right
And when I'm in a crowded room I try to stay out of sight
Always show up to the part hours early
Cuz I'm bored everything by 7:30
I'm always by self cuz that's what feels right
I know I said I'd stop before I drown
Just took a couple pills and now I'm on the ground
Yeah, I'm a loner
And I like it that way
I like a dark room
With nobody but painnn
And I don't need permission to feel sad
And I don't need no witness to have my back
Cause I'm a loner and I like it that way
And I like it that way
And I like it that way
Yeah I'm a loner
Yeah yeah yeahhh yeah
I'm a loner
And I like it that way
I like a dark room
With nobody but painnn
And I don't need permission to feel sad
And I don't need no witness to have my back
Cause I'm a loner and I like it that way
And I like it that way
And I like it that way
________________
I sang it with emotion not even knowing ness came in I smiled at her and jumped on drums playing a steady beat while recording and put it together with some electric guitar I found a rift for and it was done
Ness: that's kinda rlly good
"Thankyou"
Ness: when did u write it
"Upstairs"
Ness: wow
"Yeah"