Without You

Chapter 14

Ashton's pov

After getting kicked out of the kitchen I follow far behind Blake to her room I walk in and sit on the bed as she goes into the bathroom she's in there for a while I can hear her washing her face and see her looking in the mirror clearly in thought I wonder what it is a little bit later she walks out noticing me on her bed 

¨what are you doing¨ she asks

 ¨i was waiting for you to stop thinking about me¨ I only half joke about what she was so I thought about seconds earlier  

¨stop listen Ashton I'm telling you we need to stop whatever this is" she says

 ¨we don't have to Blake we can just continue¨ I try to persuade her but not putting pressure on

 ¨no Ashton we can't we almost got caught down there-¨ I cut her off

 ¨keyword is almost darling¨ using one of the nicknames I know she loves in hopes of that helping me 

¨no Ashton seriously we have to stop I cant do this anymore I hate lying to everyone especially my best friend and she's getting suspious¨ she says her words cutting me I try and plead my case one last time 

¨i understand Blake I don't like lying to Josh either but this us I think it's worth it¨

 ¨look Ashton I'm sure you can find another 22yr old brunette to fuck around with I'm just telling you I cant be her anymore and that's it.¨ this hurts more than anything she really thinks of me like this just a fuck boy 

¨FINE¨ I say getting up and leaving the room before I say or do anything I regret and can't come back from

 As I walk down the stairs the hurt/anger turns to sadness like a searing pain in my chest I step outside for some fresh air to calm myself how could she do this to me I know she feels something too I just know she does maybe it wasn't right to have those sorts of interactions this early I mean she doesn't even know how I actually feel about her yet and now she just thinks I'm a fuck boy I take out the pack of cigarettes from my pocket that I only smoke in times of immense stress and agony this is definitely one of those time and light one putting it up to my lips taking a long drag feeling some of the tension in me melt closing my eyes exhaling it 

"bro I thought you stopped smoking those" I hear joshes voice I open my eyes to see him coming towards me 

"I did just not all the way" I say 

 "wouldn't your coach kill you if he saw you smoking" Josh says 

 "yes but what he doesn't know doesn't kill him plus I only do it when I'm stressed" I tell him 

 "you wanna talk about it dude" Josh asks me

"Naw bro it's just personal shit" I tell Josh 

"Okay dude but just know I'm here if you need, let's go watch the game" josh says I drop the smoke and put it out following Josh into the house and to the den, he turns the game on cowboys vs bears we spend a bit watching the game I don't really care about football so I only occasionally yell at the tv  

"I'm going to get a drink you want anything" I ask Josh 

"no thanks man" he says not removing his eyes from the tv

 I make my way to the kitchen where all the girls are I stop just before I enter because I can hear Blake talking ¨okay so the truth is is that I just got out of a situationship¨ I hear her say is that what she's calling us

 ¨aha I knew you were not telling me something¨ caroline says 

¨it was purely hookups so don't read to much into it plus he was a fuck boy anyway so it wasn't a big deal¨ she says

 I mean she's right but not a big deal is that what she really thinks about us I zone out a bit thinking about what she told them NOT A BIG DEAL & SITUATIONSHIP I come back to when I hear carolines voice again 

¨we need to go out get you back on the market¨ caroline says 

¨okay I'm down I need a good night out¨ isn't it a bit soon for that we've barely been over 2 hours did we mean nothing to her

¨great so tomorrow night we'll go eeee CLUBBING I'll go tell the boys come on come on¨ I hear Blake get off her stool so I rush back to the den empty-handed and sit quickly in my chair the girls come in a minute later 

"HEYYY BOYS" caroline exclaims loudly with Blake on her arm 

"what care" Josh says a little annoyed at them interrupting the game 

"tomorrow were going clubbing so be prepared for a night of blackouts and makeouts" 

"okay care that sounds like fun we'll be there" I say answering for josh I'm purely going to make sure Blake doesn't hook up with anyone and I just wanna drag Josh along too they leaving going back to the kitchen to finish dinner.