Without You

Chapter 51

Ashton's pov

~~a few hours later~~

I walk into the dance with the boys and immediately spot Blake god she's gorgeous Cole takes notice of my staring and says "are you gonna go talk to her"

"not now I mean what would I say"

"ask her to dance"

"This songs fast I can't talk to her while dancing to this"

"then wait for a slow song" he tells me I sigh and walk away finding a table I sit and wait for a slow song 

"bro come on let's dance" Trevor says 

"maybe in a bit" I say

honestly, I don't know why I didn't want to dance I love to party all I know is that the thought of talking to Blake scared me shitless because I didn't know what to say I mean it's not like every time I talked to her I had it rehearsed but I always had direction and that's exactly what I was lacking. feeling my hands getting clamming I get up from the table and head outside breathing in the cold piercing air I pull out my pack of smokes and lighter I seem to be carrying with me everywhere these days and light one taking drags I brainstorm ideas of direction "listen blake you light up my world I miss you" NO "I miss you annoying me and having to sneak around let's be together" NO "I'll give up everything to be with you I want you to ruin me" maybe?

"Yo Ash there playing a slow song now's your chance" Trevor calls out to me from the door. I take a long last drag and put the cig out walking inside.

I try to take steady long breaths looking around, finding Blake sitting at a table I approach her. her backs turned to me so I sort of ambushed her not completely though as Ellie and Haze notice me piecing together what's about to go down before I even fully know. I tap on her shoulder and she turns looking at me I don't make eye contact because I probably would have lost it if I did

"may I have this dance" I say extending my hand what is this the 1950s you cringey fucker I think to myself before I feel her hand in mine dispersing the thoughts and like a reflex, my hand closes with hers in it not saying anything for the fear of fucking up I turn and lead her to the dance floor. As we start dancing I take the lead not saying a word but still overthinking I look her over and say the first thing that comes to mind

"you look beautiful"

"thanks you too" she says

"I look beautiful" I ask her

"yes guys can be beautiful" she defends "did you match your tie" she asks me, yes I did I bought it weeks ago waiting for this moment

"so what if I did" I say

"it's cute" I hear her say under her breath making me smile I spin her out and in holding her close deciding to start

"Blake listen" I breathe and wing it "I miss you like severely I miss holding you close like this I even miss having to sneak around to be with you I'm so sorry for what happened but I'm willing to give up anything to be with you parties even motocross I'll give it up to be with you I want you to ruin my life" I say and honestly that's the best I could have done

"whoa Ashton hold on you don't have to give anything for me I miss you too and I believe you that nothing happened I want to be with you" she says filling me with a joyous feeling I pick her up and spin her sitting her down we resume dancing to the song I have MY girl back and now I can call her that MY girl I love her so much I think to myself staring down at her 

"Did you mean what you said that night?" she asks out of nowhere making me think a second about what she meant that night that night oh THAT night and what i said she remembers of course she does i stop dancing and cup her face in my hands

"yes I've been in love with you since we were 15 Blake of course i meant it, I LOVE YOU" i see her smile so i know my confession of feeling was taken the right way god please say it please Blake then kisses me I'll take it I think to myself because although she didn't say it back that was enough