Without You

Chapter 47

Blake pov

"So how'd it go" Ellie asks me when I enter the dorm

"You knew about that"

"Uh no" she says I glare at her not believing it for one second

"I knew because I set it up" haze says

"You did what" I yell at him

"I set it up and I'm not going to apologize you needed to hear him and see him"

"How could you do that"

"Because you both were upset you wouldn't have heard him willingly would you?" He questions me

"No, because I thought there was nothing to hear"

"So you did hear him and do you believe him"

"I don't know what to believe at this point" I take a breath "he gave me this" I open my hand to show them the piece of paper Ashton had given me

"What is it" Ellie asks

"I don't know he told me to call the number if I wanted the truth"

"So are you gonna call it"

"I don't know"

"I think you should what do you got to lose" Haze says

"Gee thanks Haze"

"I mean it you should call"

"I don't know what if it's just one of his friends begging me to take him back"

"or what if it's the missing piece you've been looking for"

"is that a chance you're willing to take princess"

"I don't know" I say putting the paperback in my pocket

~~2 days later~~

For two days I've been looking at this paper wondering if I should call wondering what would happen if I did even if the person on the other end confirmed Ashton's story could I take him back

"earth to Ms.Stone hello"

"oh sorry professor"

"stay with us dear no more zoning out"

"Sorry won't happen again"

"thank you, now who can tell me about the frontal cortex"

I leave my lecturer for the day and go back to the dorm when I get there Ellie is working on her term paper "that package came for you" she says pointing to my bed not removing her eyes from her computer I walk to my bed and look at the box addressed from home I open the box and see a note on top it read

"found these the other day love mom" I look further into the box at the actual contents I pick up an old sweatshirt with my high school's name on it and on the back a big #13  underneath that the name Baylor printed in pretty cursive letters I smile taking off my shirt and slipping on the sweatshirt as I feel the nostalgia hit me I look further and find my old sketchbook I was never that good at drawing but that never stopped me I flip through the book and see picture after poorly drawn picture until I hit a page pausing reading the words written all over the paper "Mrs.Blake Baylor" "Mr. and Mrs.Baylor" "I <3 Ashton Baylor" a little creeped I close the book and reach in the box for the final thing a photo of me Ashton and his dad on the beach in a frame that says I love you on it. the wave of emotion starts to hit drowning me as the tears well up in my eyes I hug the photo tight and whisper I love you into the air. I really miss Ed he was the closest thing I ever had to a dad and ever gonna get I miss him so much Ashtons the only part of him left here with me physically so the thought of losing Ashton forever kills me realizing this I grab the piece of paper and my phone and dial the number it starts ringing and I try and prepare myself for whatever is gonna be said a pit forming in my stomach

"hello" a girls voice says on the other end

"hello" I say back

"is this Ashtons girl?" she asks

"uh yeah, I guess you could say that"

"oh hi, I'm Serina"

"Blake um you're supposed to tell me something"

"yes but I don't feel right doing this over the phone could we meet"

"yea quad in 20?" I offer

"sounds great see you then" she says then hanging up I put my shoes back on grab my keys and head towards the quad when I get there I park myself next to the fountain feeling my phone buzz I look to see who it is a text from the girl Serina

"where are you at?"

"I'm standing by the fountain in a green sweatshirt" I tell her then looking up and around to see if I can find her seeing a girl with blonde curly hair walking towards me

"Serina?" I ask her

"you must be Blake"

"yep that's me"

I hear her take a deep breathe and let it out "let's go sit down then I'll explain" she says I follow her to a bench taking a seat she sighs again and starts to talk "so I want to says first that I am oh so sorry" she pauses again looking down then to me "I kissed Ashton he didn't kiss me I was given 40 dollars to do it and I'm so sorry it ended like that I had no idea about you if I did I wouldn't have done it"

stunned that I was not only face to face with the girl who had kissed MY man but Ashton was telling the truth and now I feel like an idiot because Ashton had no reason for me not to trust him he was right he had only told me the truth and I let my own insecurities and past experiences cloud my judgment and because of that I had lost the perfect man I had hurt the perfect man I had lost my the one I love

"oh don't cry" Serina says pulling me into a hug I hadn't noticed in my thought the tears rolling down my face I pull back whipping away the tears

"thank you for telling me this" I say hugging her again before walking away

I go back to my dorm harshly shutting the door I slide down it to sit on the floor I cup my face in my hands letting out the remainder of the tears I had taking a deep breath standing making eye contact with Ellie

"are you" I cut her off

"he was right"

"what"

"he was telling the truth"

"yes!" I hear yelled from the main room I walk over and look to see haze doing a little happy dance on my bed stopping when he sees me "it took you long enough" I laugh a little because he's right "so what are you gonna do now call him to tell him you believe him and want to be together again"

"whoa there Haze not so fast I can't just call him I hated him for about a week that's not just excused by a phone call I made myself look like an idiot" I say mumbling the last part unsuccessfully

"your not an idiot you made a judgment based on observation without all the details"

"that's the thing he told me the details multiple times and I choose to stay mad and not even think for a second he could be telling the truth Ashton although he may not be a saint has never lied to me he has never given me a reason to think he was lying"

"honey nobody blames you for that you've been scorned in the past even Ashton doesn't blame you"

"But I blame myself" I say causing silence to fall throughout the room

"I wish I could call him and say hey you were right let's get back together but that's not how this works"

"you don't know" I cut Ellie off again

"yes I do I know how he works I know how I work I know how us works and I know that us is not going to be fixed by a phone call and a half-assed apology"

"princess your right but trust that im right when I say it'll be okay" 

my mind rambles how can it be okay he's heartbroken im heartbroken I caused this to blow up everyone knows about this everyone knows about us if we got back together what would people think we'd have to go public. would going public be such a bad thing I could hold his hand in the quad kiss him in the caf and not have to watch all those girls throw themselves at him well that would still happen but I wouldn't have to lie to my friends anymore