Without You

Chapter 43

I slowly blink my eyes open and make eye contact with Haze sitting on Ellie's bed across from me

"Hey princess how are you feeling" he asks me

"Still shitty but better" I tell him

"Are you ready to talk about it?"

"No but I never will be so might as well rip the bandaid off" I say

I sit up on my bed as Ellie comes out of the bathroom joining Haze on her bed I take a deep breathe and start to tell them about my relationship with Ashton

"It was the thing I was nervous about from the beginning. His reputation I know how everybody sees him the playboy but I swore with me he was different then when I saw him kissing that girl it felt as though my whole heart was ripped out so I guess I was wrong he was is just a playboy"

"Honey princess he was different with you happier more relaxed funner he smiled more than I ever saw him do in the time I have known him"

"I don't want to hear it Haze" I say standing up "I just want to let it go and put him behind me"

I hear Haze sigh in the defeat of his defense of Ashton I get he's his friend too but I don't know why he's defending him he hurt me bad "Okay well let's go out then get you a dress for the formal"

"I don't know if I wanna go to that anymore" I say

"What do you mean girl it's our tradition" Ellie says

"It's just I was supposed to go with Ashton and"

"Well now your going with us no if ands or buts about it" Ellie tells me

"Fine" I say walking over to my closet to get dressed

~~A little bit later~~

"What color do you think you want?" Haze asks me as we enter the dress shop

"I was thinking blue or maybe red" As the words leave my mouth Haze takes off down the dress aisles pulling dress after dress I leisurely follow him looking at the dresses that catch my eye

"Come on let's go to the dressing room" Haze says rounding the corner of the aisle I'm in with a huge stack of dress I follow him with my one blue dress my stack paling in comparison to his. he then sticks me in a dressing room with all of the dresses I look around the small room feeling a little overwhelmed

"Try on the white on first I just want to see you in it" I hear Haze yell from outside the dressing room I pick up the only white dress I see and put it on it's a beautiful sparkly poofy white dress
I open the door and show them their pick

"You look stunning what do you think"

"I think I'm not getting married" I say turning back into the dressing room

I then put on a sort of fashion show for Ellie and Haze trying on dress after dress none of them being the one. I sit down on a small chair in the room taking a break from trying dresses why am I doing this I don't want to go really I only want to go with Ashton. God Blake drop it we don't want to be with that cheat we hate him. But I don't I don't hate him I miss him I want to be with him I wish I could go back to a week ago when we were nauseatingly happy as I think I unknowingly start to cry I'm just gonna try on this last dress and if it's not it I'm not going I get up wiping my stray tears and look at the satin blue spaghetti strap dress that I have left to try on I slip it over my body it fitting like it was meant for me I look into the mirror and start getting teary-eyed again because this is my perfect dress I start imagining what it would look like all together with shoes hair makeup in pictures but as I imagine I can't shake the image of Ashton by my side in a matching blue tie. I physically shake my head putting on a fake happy smile and walk out to see Ellie and haze

"So what do you think" I say Vanna whiteing myself in the dress

"It's perfect that's the one" they both tell me

after we got done at the dress shop we head for lunch in town at a small burger joint as we sit I mindlessly stare out the window just in my thoughts occasionally joining in the conversation. Talking about our winter break plans while we ate when I finished I just stared out the window some more watching as the people walked by thinking about where they could be going until I see a familiar-looking person making eye contact with a tall blonde with pricing baby blues seeing him start walking towards me I jump up and make my way through the restaurant to the back ally when I turn the corner to finish making my escape I'm face to face with him. seeing him IRL knocked the wind out of me in the two days since id see Ashton I have thought about what id say when I saw him again how I would scold him more for his actions and maybe hit him a little but all that thought could not prepare me for the real thing because when faced with him I didn't have a thing to say I was frozen in time. until

"I've missed you so much" Ashton says as he wraps me in a hug

"get the fuck off of me" I say pushing him off and starting to walk in the opposite direction

"Blake wait" he says grabbing my arm

"let go" I say giving him a deadly look

"Not until you hear me out" he says in a pleading voice

"Ashton there's nothing to hear out"

"my side of things please just let me explain" he says his voice breaking a tad

"fine but you have to let go" I say, Ashton then changing from holding my arm to my hand leading me to his car opening my door allowing me to sit then closing it

when he sits in his seat I ask him "why are we in your car?"

"so you can't run away" he says starting the car and taking off

"so time for you to hear me out, please hold all questions and comments till the end" he starts "so I wanna start this with saying you might feel as if I lied to you but I assure you that everything I've ever told you was 100% true"

"Ash-" I start then he gives me a look causing me to stop and let him continue

"so that night I left you to get you a drink I was in the kitchen pouring you a cocktail when a guy came up to me saying that he could steal you from me I just laughed it off and went back to the drink at hand when I heard your voice coming towards me I turned around to see you and some girl grabbed me pulling my head down to hers kissing me only releasing when you yelled you know what happened then but what you don't know is what happened when you left I was extremely hurt and acted out I yelled at the crowd and went inside and drank and not just a little Blake" he pauses looking at me "A LOT so much I couldn't tell you what happened after I talked to Ellie and Haze" he paused again allowing me room to talk

"you talked to Ellie and Haze?"

"yeah I told them what happened and about us"

"Ashton I'm sorry but I just cant"

"I know you work on facts and none of what I just told you is fact to you but if you want the truth talk to her" he says handing me a small piece of paper with a phone number and address on it then stopping the car

I look over at him as he looks at me fuck "you know I wish we could just go back to the day we met to make sure that none of this happened"

"I don't know about that Blake I would never give up being with you to make my life easier because that would mean giving up you" he says

I look out of his car window to avoid anymore eye contact with him and realize were at my building "I gotta go" is the last thing I said to him before I practically jumped and ran out of his car and away from him