Fixing Me ∞ Hood

Chapter 55 - Choose

Over the past few days, Calum and I have been growing apart. I suppose it's my fault. Ever since the visit from my uncle, I can tell that Calum is frustrated with me for not telling him the truth, fed up even.

He's angry at me for not letting him in, and I guess I'm frustrated with him for not understanding why I don't want to tell him.

We haven't talked to each other in around two days, and the last time we did talk, we argued.

Things also seem to be getting progressively worse for me. Gemma, Danny's sister, was murdered because I couldn't help her. More people seem to be targeted by Castigo, each target getting closer and closer to the people who I hold very dearly to my heart. I seem to have been getting sadder and sadder with every passing day, and without Calum, things seem even worse.

What makes things worse is the fact that we're both pretty stubborn when it comes to things like this. We both want to prove our points, we both want to win. The difference about this time is that I don't really have a point to prove. I'm just scared of letting people in... I'm still scared of letting people in, but I don't want to be.

I need to fix this between Calum and I. I don't just want to, but I need to, for my own sanity and happiness. I need to get over this fear of letting people in, of opening up, and to do that, I just need to rip it off like a bandaid.

Now is the perfect time. It's finally Friday, we have the weekend to talk things out and then we have Monday off as well due to the teachers having some weird day off which no one knows what they actually do on this day, but every student is by far happy enough to have a day off.

I haven't been able to focus at school this whole week, there's too many things to worry about and too many thoughts constantly running through my head, more thoughts than usual anyway.

I haven't been sitting with the boys all week, but with Lauren and her boyfriend, plus the rest of their group I guess. They were all nice, and Lauren always tried to include me into conversations, but it just wasn't the same as sitting with the boys. Maybe it's just because I'm feeling sad again that I didn't like sitting with them, but either way, I felt much more comfortable around the boys.

It's my last class on Friday and I really can't be bothered to focus, which is why having art right now is amazing. Just the idea of having time to myself or confiding in Lauren makes me feel a little happier.

As I push my way through the hustle and bustle of the school hallways, Calum's familiar figure appears down an almost empty corridor. Before I can think too much into it, I break away from the large mass of students and run down the corridor to catch up to the only person that I've ever felt this strongly towards.

"Calum!" I called out.

He turned around, but when he saw me running towards him, he turned back around and continued walking as if I didn't even mean anything to him. It hurt more than I thought it ever could.

"Calum, wait!" I caught up to him and ran around in front of him, puffing slightly. "Calum, please, just hear me out."

"I'm going to be late for class." He answered dead-panned.

As he tried to walk around me I placed my hands on his chest and kept him where he was, knowing that he doesn't care if he's late for class or not.

"Please, Calum, I want to fix this. I don't want things to be like this between us." I pleaded.

After staring at me for a few seconds, the first time he's actually held eye contact with me in a few days, he sighed and leaned up against the lockers lining the wall, giving me a look that told me to continue.