Fixing Me ∞ Hood

Chapter 26 - Stressed and Confused

I shifted on Calum’s lap, instantly regretting it. Pain shot through my body causing me to whimper, my body and mind too tired to do anything else. 

“You okay?” Calum asked softly. 

“No.” I whispered.

Ashton was still driving home, and we were all in silence, not even the radio was on. Luke was in the front with Ashton and Michael was in the back with Calum and I – me being on Calum’s lap. Calum had insisted on keeping me warm and not letting me go, and I wasn’t complaining. 

“We’ll be home soon, okay?”

“Okay.” 

Silence came over all of us again. Usually it’s not awkward silence between the guys and I, but now… it was. It felt like they expected me to say something, to explain what happened to me… in detail I guess. But I don’t want to tell them, I can’t. I don’t think it would be able to come out of my mouth. Besides, I don’t want them to change how they think of me. If I tell them about what just happened, they’re going to ask questions, and those questions will then lead to what happened 10 years ago. 

“Jordan?” Michael started slowly. 

“Yeah?” I asked weakly. 

“Why were you saying that you needed to see your family because they’re in danger?”

I frowned as my heart picked up the pace. What did I tell them? “When did I talk about my family?”

“When we found you… you were saying that you needed to see your family because they’re in danger.”

My frown deepened and I lifted my head from Calum’s chest. 

“You don’t remember that?” Michael frowned. 

I shook my head. Great. What did I tell them? I hope I didn’t tell them much. 

“Ash, can you drive a little faster? We really need to get Jordan home to the doctor.” Calum’s voice wavered. 

“Sure.” Ashton mumbled sharply.

Okay, something’s up there. 

Silence fell over us once again as I leaned my head back onto Calum’s chest. He rubbed my arm gently, trying to soothe me, but it won’t work. Nothing will work to settle my anxiety right now. The silence in the car is killing me. I can literally feel the tension in the car. Ashton’s fists were tightly gripping the steering wheel, so tight that his knuckles were white, and he was staring straight out at the road, not moving at all. Luke sat stiffly in the passenger seat with his jaw locked and his fists were clenched tightly. Michael was staring blankly out of the window, I could see his reflection in the glass, he didn’t even have an expression on his face; is was just purely tired and blank. And Calum… well I think he’s trying to keep his mind busy by playing with my fingers, or my hair, or my dress, or rubbing my arm, or kissing my cheek, anything. I think he’s just trying to keep his mind off what just happened and trying to make me feel better at the same time. He’s such a good guy. But nothing can take my mind off the silence and tension in the car. I can’t take it. 

“Someone please say something.” My whisper sounded like a yell due to the silence. 

Luke laughed coldly and turned around to face me in his seat. “What do you want us to say? Honestly? How are we suppose to react to something like this?”

“I would rather have you guys yell at me, so that I know what you think, than staying silent and leaving me hanging.” I started to raise my voice a little because Luke did.