Fixing Me ∞ Hood

Chapter 30 - Shattered Mirrors

A/N: This is hella long :-/ just warning you guys haha 

I ignored their stares as I slumped my way to the kitchen to get a drink. That’s all I’ve had for days; water, occasionally juice or soft drink if I ever feel like it. I haven’t had anything to eat for days, apart from a muesli bar I think I had… yesterday? Oh well, at least I got my fibre. Whenever they ask if I’ve eaten, my answer; “I had breakfast/lunch/dinner at my friend’s house.” 

And when people at my friends’ places ask, my answer is; “Oh, I’ve already had breakfast/lunch/dinner at home.”

It’s been four days since it happened… it’s been four days of distancing myself from them. And by them I mean the people I live with, and his best friends. Not saying their names makes it easier to not pictures their faces. Not seeing their faces means not as much guilt. But I’ve come to the conclusion that it really doesn’t help, because I see each and every one of them every day. So, I decided to practically lock myself in my room, or be at a friend’s house; in other words, basically not at home at all. That way, it’s easier and it’s safer. 

Four days ago, after the… incident, I realised that I’m a walking target; but, I’m the giant one at the end of the course, and there’s still many targets that people have to go through before they get to me – while still making me weaker the whole way through. Each target gets closer and closer to me, and as you’ve probably guessed, those targets are all people I know. And as each arrow hits the bullseye, I assume each person will get more and more important to me. 

It’s been four days, and three murders. So, I suppose I should tell you how it all started. It started four days ago; the incident…

“Jordan, come on!” Michael tugged harder on my arm. 

I still didn’t move. I was stuck in place. I physically couldn’t move. How did that mirror get here? How did I even dream about it if it was here all along? Have I seen it before? I feel like it’s a major clue, I just can’t figure out where the puzzle piece goes… I guess that’s because I don’t have any other pieces on the board; maybe three, the opposing hang, who is linked to my brother, and then I’m linked to my brother. I know that the opposing gang are linked to me somehow, I just don’t know how. I’ve never really said the name of their gang very much, that’s because it’s like filth on my tongue. Castigo. In Italian it means punishment; which for me also means pain and suffering. That’s what they inflict onto other people, even if they are complete innocent. 

So, the Castigo gang are the ones who are coming after me.

The Protettore gang is my brother’s gang, the one that I was in and the one who are my family. In Italian, Protettore means protector. We are the protector gang, we protect the innocent, and we protect each other… no matter what. But right now, I don’t feel like they’re protecting me. It doesn’t even feel like they’re around really. I’ve hardly seen any of them, only a few at the party that Calum and I hooked up at…

“Jordan! What are you staring at? Come on, we have to go!” Michael insisted impatiently. 

My eyes stung with tears as I stared at the mirror. How. Is. It. Here? How do I even know it?

“Jordan!” Michael pulled on my arm, making me trip over and fall into him. But that still didn’t stop me from staring at the mirror… I kept my eyes on it. 

Everything around me became hazy. Mine and Michael’s figures in the mirrors faded into blurred out figures, and Michael’s voice became a faint whisper in the distance, even though he was standing right beside me. I could hear whispers all around me, I couldn’t make out what they were saying at first, but as I completely zoned everything out, the words and voices started to become clearer.