Fixing Me ∞ Hood

Chapter 62 - Frowns and Tears

"I can't do this anymore!" I throw my hands up as I burst into Calum's room.

The boys all throw strange looks my way at my sudden entrance into Calum's room, with the door closed. I probably should have knocked but I didn't want to lose my confidence.

"What are you talking about?" Calum chuckles nervously.

I can see the worry behind his eyes, and I know he's probably thinking that I mean I can't do us anymore, but that's not true. 

"You can tell them, Calum." I nod firmly and walk over to his bed where he and Luke are sitting - Michael and Ashton sitting on beanbags on the floor. 

"Really?" Calum raises his eyebrows.

"Yes really," I roll my eyes as I sit down next to him. "Tell them."

"Tell us what?" Luke looks cluelessly between Calum and I. 

Calum smiles as he entwined our fingers together. "Jordan and I are together."

His eyes meet mine and he grins at me, clearly happy to finally tell the boys about us.

"What?" Ashton's eyebrows shoot up.

"Since when?" Luke grins.

"I knew it!" Michael fist pumps the air. 

"Hang on," Luke holds his hand up. "When did you guys get together?"

"Two weeks ago." Calum pulls me into his lap.

"How could you not have told us this earlier?" Michael fakes being hurt. 

"It was Jordan's idea, she said that the less people that knew the safer you all were."

"That is so not cool, Jordan," Michael shakes his head. "So not cool."

"And we had sex." Calum blurts, his cheeks turning pink with joy and from the memories of our intimacy. "Twice."

"What?!" All the boys exclaim at once.

"You're no longer a virgin!" Ashton chuckles.

"It took you two long enough." Michael scoffs.

"It was amazing." Calum breathes and leans his forehead against mine.

The boys continue to talk about Calum and I having sex, and I don't bother stopping him from going into a little details because I'm too occupied with my thoughts. I'm too anxious to listen to their conversation.

I'm going to tell them. I'm going to tell them about Jimmy and Johnny and what they did to me. I just don't know how. For the past week, after seeing those two again, I haven't been the same. I sometimes jump when people touch me, but the problem is mostly with Calum. Whenever he tries to make a move on me romantically, or even just kiss me, I pull away and give him some stupid excuse. I can tell that he's confused, hurt and fed up with it, but I can't help it. 

"Wait, Jordan," Michael catches my attention. "Were you a virgin?"

"Mike." Ashton elbows him in the stomach.

"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you guys about." I say slowly and push myself out of Calum's lap, turning to look at him. "Cal, I know that you're not one-hundred percent convinced with how I answered you last week about whether I was a... Virgin or not, and you have every right to be because I lied to you." 

I gulp when Calum's face falls, the happiness draining from his eyes.

"I wasn't a virgin, but it's not for the reason that you might think." I blurt quickly, not wanting to see Calum so hurt.