Fixing Me ∞ Hood

Chapter 67 - Apology

It's been a whole week since Calum and I have spoken. I did what he wanted me to do and I left him alone. I stayed away from him at school and I've been staying at Luke's house for the past few days. I was going to go stay at my studio apartment, but since Joy doesn't know where that it and doesn't want me being alone, we compromised on Luke's.

Liz has been very understanding and hospitable. I told Joy that Calum and I had had a big argument and that he wanted nothing to do with me, and I suppose he backed that up, because Joy let go and stay over with the Hemmings. Liz hasn't really asked any questions, which is good. She's so sweet though, she makes my lunches in the morning - and Luke's too - and always makes sure that I'm okay. Luke's older brothers, Ben and Jack, come by every now and then, and they're always really nice to me.

I wish that Calum and I wouldn't fight like this, it makes me realise that he was right. It's just a constant cycle. I hate it. I love Calum with everything I have, but I just do things in the only way I know. I guess Calum doesn't agree with those ways.

It thunders overhead and I look towards the sky with a sigh. If there's one thing English taught me, it's pathetic fallacy.

The rest of my year at school got to go home early since we all only had a study period but I had to stay back to do a maths exam that I'd missed. I decided to walk home because I wanted to clear my head, but while walking I realised that I didn't know what to clear exactly.

By the time I get to the Hemmings' front door and knock, I'm still in the same place that I was less than an hour ago; screwed.

"Hey," Luke pulls open the door. "How was your exam?"

"Fine, I guess. I didn't really get much time to study for it because I didn't know I had it, but I guess we'll see."

"Your fault for skipping school."

"Shut up." I roll my eyes.

As I step into the house Luke grows oddly nervous, like he's done something that I won't like, especially because he's literally glued to my side like he's sucking up to me.

"Uh, what's up with you?" I laugh lightly.

"What's up? Nothing's up. I'm just chillin' with my favourite girl." He grins nervously and nudges me.

"Spit it out, Luke." I sigh. "You're a terrible liar."

"Please don't kill me... Or him." Luke gestures over my shoulder.

Calum stands in the doorway, his hands shoved into his jeans pockets as he looks up at me through his eyebrows, his head tilted towards the floor slightly. I turn back to Luke.

"Don't kill who?" I pretend like I didn't even see him.

"Jordan, come on. Just talk to-"

"No, you see, I'm pretty sure I remember somebody telling me to basically go get fucked and to get lost. There is nothing to talk about."

"Jordan, don't be like this." Calum pleads, his voice coming closer to me. "You know I didn't mean what I said."

"Did I, Calum?" I whip around to face him angrily. "Because it seemed like you meant it when you were saying it."

"That's what I'm talking about Jordan. When we fight, I say things that I don't mean because I get protective over you. I've come to realise that I can't protect you the way I want to and that frustrates me because I should be the one who looks after you. I hate not being able to do something and I hate the fact that I have to wait around to see if you come home in one piece, or at all. I don't even know if you'll be alive sometimes, and it kills me."