Fixing Me ∞ Hood

Chapter 28 - Regret

Calum’s P.O.V

“How about you watch T.V for a little bit Luke? He’s only just gotten to sleep from crying all morning and night. He eventually cried himself to sleep, but… Luke, do you know what happened? I’ve never seen my boy like this before. I’m worried.” I heard my mum mutter from behind my door. 

Luke’s here? Why is Luke here? I tried to pry my tired eyes open, but the sun was too bright in my room, making my eyes ache; and besides, they were practically glued shut with dry tears.

“I think he’s just scared because of what happened to Jordan.” Luke sighed. “He blames himself for not being there to protect her, and he’s worried. I’ll talk to him, don’t worry Joy.”

I think Luke knows about Jordan and I, my mum definitely doesn’t. I’d like to keep it that way until Jordan and I are actually on track… if we ever get on track.

“Thank you Luke, honey. Just make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid, okay?”

“No promises. We’re boys after all.” Luke chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. 

“Oh trust me, I know.” My mum laughed lightly. “I’ll leave you two to it.”

“I’ll take care of him, don’t worry Joy.”

I heard my mum’s footsteps retreat before Luke knocked on my door.

“Cal? You awake?”

“No.” I grumbled. 

Luke chuckled and opened my door, closing it quietly behind him. 

“You okay man?” He asked, walking into my room. 

I just glared at him. Do I look okay? I don’t think so. I just cried myself to sleep over a girl that doesn’t love me back. Of course I’m not okay. Luke threw himself on the other side of the bed, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling.

“Did you get any sleep?” He asked. 

“Half an hour…”

I’d only fallen asleep at 2 this afternoon, and it was now 2:30. So much for the hours of peace my body was going to get. 

Luke sighed. “You know this isn’t healthy for you, Cal. I can already see it. You need to stop this before you get any worse. You know what happened to Jordan wasn’t your fault. That guy would have taken her whether you were there or not, you couldn’t have done anything–“

“But I might have been able to! I wasn’t even there to find out if I could…”

“Well, we got Jordan back, yeah? I mean, she’s safe with us now.”

“Yeah, but I’m not sure we got the same Jordan back…”

“Look Cal, she’s probably just freaked out. I mean, can you blame her. She got kidnapped and God knows what else. If you’re blaming yourself for not being there, then the guys and I should be blaming ourselves too, because we weren’t there either. I feel horrible for what happened to Jordan, but it was out of our control, none of us could have done anything to stop it from happening. You need to let it go… I know it’s hard, but it’s not good for you.”

“It’s not just that Luke, and you know it.” I sighed.

“Is this about what Jordan said to you when we were driving home?”

“It’s more than that…”

“Did something else happen?”

“What didn’t happen?! Everything happened last night and this morning. Everything.” I rolled over onto my back, hugging my pillow to my stomach.