Never Really Gone

Chapter 63

Hels's POV

"Are you sure this is a good idea?"

Vali clings to my arm, clearly nervous as we wander the empty Shopping District. There's so many buildings on this server, it's hard to tell what's a base and what's not.

"I was here so many times while your injury was still bad, and I never got caught." I point out

"You're good at being sneaky! I'm not!" The Vexling hisses

"Maybe if you left me alone we'd be fine."

This sends him into silence, despite the fact I was only messing.

A few moments later, I look back down at him.

"You know I was joking, right?"

Vali nods, keeping his eyes focused on the floor.

"What's wrong?"

"I... it just sometimes feels like everything would've been better had I just left you alone, you know?"

I want to kick myself for being so stupid.

"Val, that's not what I meant! Things were pretty bad for a long time, we both know that, but you changed, didn't you?"

"It doesn't put aside the fact that I ruined your life. Or Ezra's for that matter."

There's many times when loving Vali becomes a little difficult, and this is certainly one of them. Sometimes I want to be angry at him, but I can see how much pain and guilt he already feels, and how much he hates himself for what he's done. I don't want to make any of that worse.

"Look, what you've done is... hard to forgive. You're not a bad person, you've just done bad things."

"Aren't those basically the same thing?"

"They're not. You did bad things in the past that you knew were wrong, and have since apologised for. And I ended up in love with you, so you must be doing something right."

Then I pause, frowning.

"Or I'm dreaming."

I can see that Vali's trying to hold his laughter in, and it's not really working.

"Come on!" I tease "Lemme hear those adorable giggles!"

"No! Th-this is supposed to be a serious conversation, I'm not gonna-"

He gasps as I pull him in close to me and give him kisses on the side of his neck, where I know he's incredibly sensitive.

"H-hey! Hels st-stop... stop it!" He yelps between giggles, trying to escape my grasp. He only ends up kicking my ankle, making me lose my balance and fall over, bringing him down with me.

Luckily enough, we fall onto a patch of grass beside trees decorated with diamonds. Vali lands on top of me, but I don't really mind.

"I can't take anything serious with you around, can I?" He sighs with a smile

"Nope." I respond kissing him briefly

"I guess that's why I love you." He tells me

"That's why I love me too." I reply with a smirk

"Shut up."

Ezra's POV

Every dream this last week has been a nightmare. Each one is about Grian, and they just keep getting worse and worse. He hurts himself, tells himself he's useless, that he's worthless. He cries himself to sleep every night, wishing he didn't have to deal with the pain.

I want to be there, I want to be by his side, holding onto him and telling him he's ok. But I can't do anything, I'm forced to watch over and over, unable to do anything.

"Why can't you send me back early?" I ask Celeste one day "It would make more sense, we could warn the Hermits about the Watchers."

"It wouldn't be safe. The Watchers are keeping a close eye on Hermitcraft, they'd know you were there. It's best to wait and use the element of surprise."

"But what about Grian? He needs me now."

"I understand that, and I wish I could help, but there isn't anything I can do to help him. On a bit of a positive note, he does know you're alive."

"Well that helps." I say sarcastically

"Well until about 6 minutes ago, he thought you were dead. Hope, even a tiny spark of it, is a powerful thing. And if Grian has hope, he'll be ok."

"What about when the Watchers attack? I don't think he's gonna handle it well when they come back, especially after they killed Nora."

"Which makes it a good thing that you'll be there for him. Assuming you'll be emotionally stable enough to fight them."

That makes me pause. In my desperacy to help Grian, I've completely forgotten about myself. I don't like the idea of fighting someone, after all I put Xisuma through, and the idea of facing the people who abused me for years isn't ideal either.

But put the two together, and it's a different story.

"Is the plan to fend them off or to kill them?"

"Well... hopefully the former but-"

"I want to kill them." I tell her

"You do realise it's the Council they're sending in, right? These are the 20 strongest Watchers they have." Celeste tells me warily

"And with the leaders dead what are the rest going to do?" I respond without hesitation "They'd be vulnerable and easy to capture."

"You have a point, but I typically avoid violence if possible and would like to keep it that way."

"But think about it! All those children who are taken from their families. All those innocent kids who were abused and turned into heartless monsters. It would never have to happen again! They'd all be safe!"

"You're sounding like my cousin." Celeste remarks

"Well your cousin is a smart person."

"She really was, she wanted to make things the way they used to be too."

"Watchers used to be good people?"

"They did, they would work by our side, along with the Admins, keeping peace. Until someone messed it up 8,000 years ago."

"8,000 years ago? That's when...oh."

So THAT'S what was in that book. The one we risked everything trying to get, the plan that messed everything up for us. I'd almost forgotten about that.

"I do like your plan now that I'm thinking about it." Celeste tells me "As much as I don't want blood to be shed, the idea that peace could come back between Admins, Listeners and Watchers would be amazing."

Celeste smiles

"And I think my cousin Stella would be very happy about that too."