Dark Night Dark Light

Chapter 16

I wake up to the suns rays kissing my naked body. I roll over and see Ville still asleep on the other side of the bed. I turn my head to look at the ceiling with images of last night reeling through my head. His tender touch and passionate kisses he displayed last night was nothing short of amazing. Just the thought of him making love to me is enough for me to want to wake him up so that we can do it all again. 

I turn to him and sit up on my arm, about to wake him up so that he can take me over once again. I take my finger and trace it up and down his arm, feeling the warmth of his skin on my finger tip. How is it a man like you be single till you meet me? He is so beautiful as he sleeps, his hair sprawled across the pillow, his skin so pale and perfect. I don't know what I ever did to deserve someone like him in my life. 

I start to think about the move to New York. I cant help but to feel sadness in a way because he is not in Finland. He has told me a little about his upbringing, so I know that he has a mother and a father that love him. I also know of his brother. Having a family like that is something that I wish that I had. All through my childhood I would never really have any friends over at the house because I did not know if my father would make a fool of me with his drunken behavior.

I also start to think about how I really need to get back to trying to work and bring in some money. I know that Ville has not said anything so far about me not bringing in any money, but I would never want him to hold all of the financial burden. I like to hold my own and make my own way. 

Ville starts to move around. He turns to me looking wide eyed and bushy tailed. He shoots me a smile and I melt for him. The power that this man has over me is not of this world. 

"Awake already?" he asks.

"I was just thinking" I tell him nonchalantly.

"After yesterday I would have thought that you put all that thinking stuff away. It does not suit you" he teases me and laughs.

I even love this mans sense of humor. His playful ways always seem to lift my spirits, "You asshole" I laugh out in a playful manner, "I was just thinking of what you said about New York... I don't think that we should ever think about settling there. I would feel horrible if I kept you away from your family... and I was also thinking that I need to get back on the computer because I have really been slacking off on my work since meeting you."

"So are you telling me that you would rather go to Finland to get made fun of in a language that you don't understand?" Ville laughs.

"No, I am just saying that I think that it is a good idea that you go back to Finland and continue your music with the love of your family behind you. The language thing does not bother me. Give it time and I will learn your language" I reply.

Ville's eyes soften as he gazes down at me, as if he is just now realizing that I would do anything for this him. His hand gliding up and down my side, leaving a warm trail behind it. 

"You don't have to do that for me. I would never ask you to do that for me. I want to make you happy" he tells me in the most loving voice.

Again, my feelings that I have been hiding overtake me and I again am left to contemplate how he deserves someone better than me. Since we have been together he has had to go through all of Aaron's self-centered pride. I envy him for being the strong man that he is. I know if I had to deal with half of what he has dealt with I would be running for the hills. Yet, he stays with me and continues to try his best at making me happy. I wish that he would just calm down about things and realize that what truly makes me happy is just by being with him. Even then I would gladly give up being with him if I knew that is what would make him happy.