Who Wants To Live Forever...

I Can't Face This Life Alone - Part 4

22nd January 1985

London

Brian's POV

I was standing somewhere unfamiliar and looked around. Not sure where I was or why I was here.  I turned to see a large group of people and realized I was standing in a church.  I was looking at the people sitting in the pews who were looking back at me expectantly.  It made me feel nervous.  Then I could hear music and saw everyone stand up.  I saw someone dressed as a bride start walking down the aisle.  Everyone was smiling and looking at her.  Her face covered by a veil.  I couldn't see who she was and began to realize she was walking my way.  

I felt quite anxious as she drew nearer.  Was I getting married?  Who was I getting married to?  My heart started beating rapidly and I felt hot and sweaty.  I tried to tell myself 'I can't get married!  I'm already married to Roger!'  I could feely myself thinking it.  It didn't seem to stop the bride from marching forward.  She was a few feet away and I turned to see a priest standing there wearing a smug grin.  Enjoying his moment of attention apparently.  I looked down and saw I was dressed in a dark blue suit and had a sprig of lavender on my lapel.  Shit!  I took a deep breath as the bride came up to me.  

My heart was racing as I felt I was going to get married and couldn't stop it.  I hoped maybe someone would object and went to move as the bride came up to the altar.  I swallowed hard as I took a step.  I was suddenly brushed aside as Roger came up to block me.  I felt a rush of relief that he was there to stop this madness. 

I then saw him turn and take the hand of the mystery bride and then face the priest.  I realized Roger was the one getting married!  And I was his best man! My heart began pounding again as he reached over and lifted the veil and I saw it was Dominique.  She was heavily pregnant and was wearing a large diamond engagement ring on the hand he was holding.  I turned and saw Roger's Mum smiling and crying.  And next to her was Michael Taylor.  His arm around her and looking proud as his son prepared to marry a respectable mate.

My eyes flew open and I gasped out loud as I sat up in bed. Still feeling my head and my heart reeling from what I had just witnessed.  I was relieved to find it was just a dream.  A nightmare really.  But only a dream. A stupid dream that made me groan with dismay.

I wiped at my damp forehead and looked over at the clock.  It was only 11:30pm.  I was so turned around on my time.  We had arrived home from Rio and I was still trying to get back in a regular time routine.  I pulled back my bedclothes and went to the bathroom and got a drink of water.  I needed to shave and ignored my state as I walked back to bed.  Feeling wide awake and a bit shaken from that dream.  I tried not to read into it and sighed as I sat in bed and pulled the covers back over me.  It was a cold night.  

I knew sleep would evade me and considered getting up to watch some tv.  I then reached for the phone and dialed a number.  It wasn't that late so I took a chance.

'You've reached my machine...you know what to do...'  

"Hey Rog...it's me...just wondering if you were up....can't sleep..."  

I waited to see if he was there and just screening his calls.  He never picked up so I hung up.  Feeling frustrated and lonely.  I leaned over and dialed another number.

"Hello..."

"Hi Chrissie...it's Bri...I hope I didn't call too late..."

"I'm up...it's fine...I told you to call anytime..."  

"I know but I'd hate to wake you..."

"How are you faring with the jet lag?"

"I'm still a bit off...but I'll get there..."  I told her.  "How was your day?"  I asked.  Wanting to talk about something besides me for a change.