Who Wants To Live Forever...

A New Life is Born....

3rd October 1985

London

Freddie's POV

For some reason I kept thinking about that line from The Beatles song...'I read the news today...oh boy...'   It seemed fitting as I was handed the newspaper and informed that Rock Hudson had died.  It was like a gut punch.  Here was a famous man who had hid his personal life from the world and worked as a successful actor for decades.  He was one of the Hollywood elite and had countless friends in the business.  Friends who knew he was gay and kept his secret.

Now the whole world knew.  They only knew because he had contracted AIDS.  It has been a major news story since July and the tabloids had gone into overdrive to print stories about his past and his secret affairs with men.  Raking him over the coals and exposing everything as he slowly ebbed away.  Seeing these articles shook me to my core as I saw a private life made public.  His reputation destroyed and his legacy permanently scarred.  

I hadn't really talked to anyone about it, but I found myself reading any article printed about AIDS.  About HIV.  While I tried to avoid the gossip sheets, I found I couldn't ignore them.  I needed to know what was being said about other people.  About the gay community.  It was shocking to see the vile things said in print.  The judgement and rebuking of people living that lifestyle.  A constant reference was made to this being a plague set upon my kind as some kind of punishment.  It made any inclination I ever had about being more public about my private life disappear.

Now I saw watching the ITV news report and the top story was about Rock.  I sat and watched.  Unable to bear it, yet unable to turn away.  The reality of the situation made me realize something and I shuddered as I could no longer deny that I needed to get a test.

"Freddie...Roger's on the phone..."  Phoebe announced as he walked into my line of vision.  I kept my eyes on the program and reached for the phone on the table next to me.  Picking it up as I watched the end of the story.

"Hello dear..."

"I know you've heard...Phoebe told me..."  Roger replied.

"Yes...I'm watching the news as we speak..."  I confirmed.  

"How are you feeling about it?"  Roger asked me.  "With him being outed and judged in the press..."  he said as I reached for my cigarettes.  My eyes still on the television as the news story ended.

"Probably the same as you dear..."  I replied.  "Absolutely amazed at how vile the newspapers are and those fucking people on television who keep saying this is a punishment for our sins are an abomination!"  I complained.  

"That's about how I'm feeling..."  Roger concurred.  I lit my cigarette and grabbed the television remote.  Switching off the news.  No longer interested in their reporting on the matter. Somewhat disgusted by it all.

"Have you talked to Brian about it?"  I questioned. 

"No...I'll see him in the studio today..."  Roger answered.  We were all headed into the studio this afternoon to work on a new song.  

"I will see you there I guess..."  I told him.  Not sure what else to say.  

"Freddie...can I ask you something?"  Roger suddenly stated in a contemplative tone.  I had a feeling I knew what the question would be.

"Of course..."  I replied as I prepared to answer.  

"Have you had a test yet?"  he asked.  Exactly what I knew was on his mind.