Who Wants To Live Forever...

Hot Space...Let's Go! Part 1

A/N - The next parts of the 1st chapter of this book will occur periodically throughout this story between other chapters.   We are going back to see what happened between the end of My Bijou and the events in chapter 1 of this installment.

10th December 1981

Munich

Brian's POV

I had really hoped our time in the studio this go around would be better.  I guess I was wrong.  Well maybe I should clarify that it seemed to be going brilliantly for the others.  Just not me.  When we started this album I felt like we were on top of the world. We had completed a successful tour and had even gone to South America and broke attendance records.  We then ventured to Venezuela and Mexico.  Now we have released our Greatest Hits collection and it has enjoyed a seat at the top of the charts.  It seemed like this year would end in a wonderful place for the band.  But being back in the studio has shown that cracks were beginning to appear in our foundation.  Maybe we have been at it for too long and need a significant break.  A break sure helped Roger and I mend things between us.  Time apart had put us in a much better place.  

Roger had finished his solo album, Fun In Space,  and released it.  He went on some promotional trips and I was completely supportive.  Even when it didn't fare well in the charts.  When he first played the album for me he had told me he really wished he could have dedicated it to me.  I understood and appreciated him saying this.  We certainly have a lot in our lives but we don't get everything we want.  Still - him letting me finally hear his romantic song 'Future Management' was thrilling.  I really loved the track 'Good Times Are Now.' But I was incredibly proud of all the material on the album.  He had grown so much as a songwriter and musician.  Even though it seemed he might have used up all of his available material with his solo effort, Roger was quite prolific these days.  I used to be the one with my writing notebook always open.  He is often found that way now.  Eyeglasses on and a pen in his hand as he sat in bed or in his study and scribbled words and notes on the page.

When we arrived in Munich to get serious about our next record Roger had been full of ideas that seemed in sync with the music we were hearing on the radio.  The new sounds were steeped in synthesizers and programmed beats.  Every instrument now seemed to have a synthesized version available and we had computerized drums and bass now ensconced in the studio with us.  Roger isn't always on board with the programmed drums but was trying to lend his talents on the synth to the others as they worked through their news material.  My main issue was that we seemed to have moved away from guitar solos.   I was playing lots of rhythm for backing tracks but the days of a standard solo for me in most every song had gone by the wayside.  I felt a bit lost.  That became apparent when we worked with David Bowie in Montreux.  As we all tried to collaborate with him on a new song it became clear that it would be dominated by David and primarily Freddie.  It had started out as a democratic venture.  Sharing ideas and lines for lyrics.  Shit - we each even had a go at singing part of the vocal with lines we had written.  But in the end it was taken over by David and Freddie getting competitive and I just took a step back and watched from the sideline.  Grateful I was allowed to play a bit of guitar.  Grateful I wasn't as jealous of how well David and Roger seemed to get along as I might have been a while back.

My heavier sounding songs that I brought to the table didn't seem to fit into the mold that was forming with this record.  Several of my offerings were vetoed by Freddie and Deacy.  Even by Roger.  I started to wonder if we were no longer a die hard rock and roll band.   I tried to remind myself that this was just a new direction and our core foundation was steeped in our classic sound.  Still - it is an adjustment for me.  And I guess I don't always handle this amount of change well. Or maybe I'm struggling inside and it is getting harder to manage it.  I don't know.  All I know is that we all seem on edge with each other right now and trying to get things done in the studio has been trying at times.  And then when things get too trying, we just all check out and disappear into the nightlife of Munich.