Who Wants To Live Forever...

In The Year of 39 - Part Two

3rd August 1986

Madrid Spain

Brian's POV

I can't really say when the rot started setting in.  It wasn't an exact moment but I noticed things shifting as I reached my 39th birthday.  We did a show in Cologne Germany that night and I took a moment to play a few notes of '39.'  Feeling it was fitting for the occasion.  The celebration for my birthday was low key as we were off to Vienna for the next show.  That was fine by me as I was happy to celebrate alone with Roger in the hotel.  Away from the press and away from the real world.  Just the two of us.

A week later it was Roger's birthday and Freddie threw him a surprise party in his hotel suite.  We had arrived in Budapest and since no other major rock act had performed here before, it was a huge deal and the press along with our own camera crew were constantly filming us.  As a result, Roger and I had to keep our distance from each other.   Concerned some footage might reach the news reports back home.  We didn't want to give Michael Taylor any reason to do something.

I stood by and watched Freddie fawn all over Roger and surprise him with a cake specially made for the party.  It was an over the top cake in the shape of a drummer with sparklers alight as it was wheeled out for him.  Roger had already spent the day out with some of the crew driving go karts and racing at a nearby track.  Having the time of his life.  It seemed he didn't miss me that day as he enjoyed the company of so many others.  I smiled and did appreciate a stolen kiss later that night as we managed to get away from the prying eyes of the reporters.

There were a lot of invitations received to do many different things while we were in Budapest.  We all seemed to go separate ways as we accepted some offers and tried to appreciate our hosts for this historic visit and concert.  I visited an outdoor event with carnival type rides and food and got to ride in a hot air balloon.  Something I always wanted to do.  Without anyone else there except my bodyguard and the film crew, it wasn't as much fun for me.  I tried to smile for the cameras.  I tried to be a good guest.

We finished in Budapest and are on the final stretch of the tour.  Something I have dreaded.  It spells the end of my time with Roger away from home.  I have marked off the dates and found myself growing depressed as we near the end.  

I also have found that my concentration at times has failed me.  Leaving me making some dumb mistakes during shows.  Mentioning the wrong city when talking to the audience or flubbing a fairly easy guitar part.  I have in return received a tongue lashing from Freddie more than once about these incidents.  That isn't new as his standards for shows are incredibly high.  Always have been.  And the others have made comments as well.  We all have developed a habit of doing this over the years; of critiquing our performances.  But now, for some reason, there is more bite to them. Harsher and almost hurtful.   And my own responses, have in turn, grown darker.

It has become clear that all of us, at some level, are dealing with something underneath the surface of our tour.  Something causing us unhappiness or strain or something unnamed.  And it is starting to show.

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"How would you say the tour has gone so far?"  the reporter asked us all as we were escorted to our dressing room at the football stadium in Madrid.  He had his microphone sticking out towards us as we walked.

"It's been a great success...we've sold out every show...."  Freddie answered.  

"Are there plans to add more dates?  To visit other countries?"  the reporter asked next.  It was a question we were getting a lot as our prior tours had always been lengthy ones.