Who Wants To Live Forever...

I Get Afraid...Of Losing My Way...

17th February 1985

London

Deacy's POV

It was an epic show and I was glad I decided to go.  The invitation came at the last minute and Ronnie couldn't make it.  I went alone.  Sometimes I think I prefer to go by myself.  No distractions from the music and just watching the musicians do their thing.  I can get lost in the music and the atmosphere and not have to worry about a companion.  Enjoying being on the other side of the stage for a change.  An audience member and not a performer.

Phil Collins put on an energetic show.  I couldn't help but notice some similarities with Roger.  Being so adept at drumming and singing as well as writing songs and having a stage presence.  I easily imagined Roger fronting a band of his own someday.  I mean...will Queen last forever?

It was a question we get asked more often these days.  Will Queen keep going?  I know we have all pondered this separately but not discussed it at length when we are together.  We just soldier on despite our disagreements.  At the end of the day we all know this family remains stalwart and steady no matter what goes on in our personal lives.  It has taken on more meaning since Brian and Roger were forced apart in their private life.  Offering them a measure of sanctuary despite a spy in our midst.

I lit a fresh cigarette as I walked from the arena.  The show had ended a few hours ago but I was escorted back to meet Phil and the band and enjoy some of the backstage libations.  I was far from drunk but feeling good as the buzz from the show and talking shop with some stellar musicians kept me wired as I approached my new baby.

She is so pretty!  I never imagined owning a car like this but with our recent earnings and me feeling so restless, I had decided to treat myself for a change.  I still can't believe I handed over that amount of money for something other than a house.  I pulled my keys out and waved to the security guard standing nearby.

"That's a beauty right there!"  he remarked as I opened the car door.  I grinned and felt proud.

"She is!" I agreed as I slipped inside my new Porsche and closed the door.  Running my hands over the premium black leather covering my steering wheel.  The new car smell still potent as I turned over the engine and listened to it purr.  I shifted gears and smiled widely as I hit the pedal and tore out of the parking lot.  Feeling the power of my red machine.  Gripping the wheel and reaching over to switch on my cassette player.

I blasted Tears for Fears and began singing along.  Taking comfort that no one could hear me singing off key and belting out the words.

'Shout!  Shout!    Let It All Out!     These Are The Things I Can Do Without!  

'Come on!    I'm Talking To You!    Come on!'

I kept singing as I wound my way down Queen's Gate to head home.  Traffic was light since it was a work night and after midnight.  I neared the entrance for the motorway I needed and began to accelerate.  I sped onto the slip road and easily navigated the slow moving cars to get in the fast lane.  I turned up the music and bobbed my head as I listened and drove.  Getting lost in the night and hoping I would feel better about being home again.  

Before I knew it I was at my exit.  I zipped into the exit lane and began to veer off the motorway.  I saw the lights flashing in my rear view mirror before I heard the police car.

'Shit!'

I slowed down and checked to see if I could veer off on the shoulder.  There wasn't room so I slowly crept down the slip road until I found a safe place to stop.  I felt a light panic at the fact I'd had several drinks at the after party.  I tried to act like everything was fine as I saw the policeman walking up to my car.  I rolled down my window and prepared to speak to him.