Who Wants To Live Forever...

In Time It Comes To Everyone...

 A/N -  As usual there is a lot of fact blended with fiction in this chapter.  If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.   Please note the dates in this chapter.  

3rd May 1987

London

Roger's POV

It was the worst possible time to quit smoking.  I sat in my home office in the evening and stared at the empty ashtray sitting on the end of my desk.  Feeling like it was calling to me.  To fill it with burnt paper, tobacco and ash. A glance down at the chewed up pencil on the desk blotter told me I was barely coping.  I sighed as I got up and picked up the ashtray and carried it to a filing cabinet.  Shoving the glass ashtray into the back of a drawer and shutting it with frustration.  I returned to my desk chair and placed my forehead in my hand.  Sighing heavily.  

1987 was not turning out to be a good year.  On top of Harold's terminal diagnosis, I continued having to send my father a monthly payment to his new address in Cheltenham.  Trying not to think about the marvelous time he was having blowing my money on horse racing.  Brian and I were growing apart and I struggled to get things going with my solo record.  Hoping to finish it and form a support band so I could arrange a small tour.  I needed to make music more than ever to distract me from my miserable personal life.

One of the few bright spots was getting to film a music video with Freddie.  He had invited me and his close friend Peter Straker to perform in drag as his back up singers.  I loved his remake of 'The Great Pretender.'  He had released the single and finally enjoyed some real chart success.  Reaching the top 5 and getting a lot of positive press over the irreverent video.  An amazing feat considering he wasn't doing any interviews to promote the single. 

We had certainly had a bad time with the press over the years but since that article was printed last October about him getting an AIDS test, he had been livid with the English media and had sworn off any interviews with them.  The focus had shifted from the music to his personal life.  With AIDS stories filling the newspapers and selling copies, the tabloids were hungry for whatever they could get their hands on.  And many people became a target.   The fear of the press snooping closely these days had left Brian and I not even risking any time together outside of official Queen business.  It had not helped with the distance we already felt between us.  Brian was busy with his parents so he was occupied right now and I stayed busy with my own family.  Trying to keep tabs on Harold and knowing his time on this earth was coming to an end.  

The sound of the telephone brought me out of my thoughts and I reached over to pick it up.

"Hello."

"Roger, it's me.  I'm afraid we've got a serious situation on our hands."  Freddie declared.  I sat up in my chair.  Feeling a sense of dread hearing the words.

"What's happened?" I asked him.

"I'll tell you when you get here." Freddie replied.  Telling me he needed me to come to his home.  

"I'm on my way."  I advised and hung up the phone.

---------------------------------------------------

The sight of a tense looking Phoebe answering the door did not help to quell my anxiety over Freddie's words. 

"That bad, eh?"  I asked Freddie's assistant.  Phoebe sighed.

"It is I'm afraid."  Phoebe confirmed as he walked with me into the house.  "He's in there."  Phoebe said as I stepped into Freddie's private lounge.  Finding my friend sitting in a chair looking dejected as he smoked a cigarette.  He looked at me with a chagrin expression.