LET ME LOVE YOU

38: Cindy Asuncion Tuazon

"Meanest Girl"

Sa mundong ito, kapag may ginawa kang mali sa paningin ng iba ay huhusgahan ka na agad. Tanging nakikita lang nila ay ang maling nagawa mo, hindi ang rason kung bakit mo 'yun nagawa.

I was crowned as Miss Universe 2016 in my last beauty pageant in Brazil. But months after, I was dethroned right away because I just let it be. I was unable to fulfill my duties as the crown queen.

During my short reign, all I do was travel the world like a mad girl. Partying everywhere, escaping my bodyguards, breaking the rules of the organization and worst, I even fake a pregnancy scare just to be totally out in the business.

Miss Thailand, the first runner up is very glad for the succession. I cannot even hide my sly smile from what I did.

Knowing how obsessed my country in beauty pageants, a hundred million Filipino people are in awe. The bashing in social media, the harsh comments whenever I go. All of them are disappointed of my ungratefulness.

They even compare me to a criminal who disgrace her country so much. The Bb. Pilipinas organization is very disappointed also.

Halos buong Pilipinas ay nagalit sa akin at hindi ko naman sila masisisi. Lahat ng kabaklaan ng bansa ay isinumpa ako.

Maging ang mga awards na natanggap ko sa malacañang ay binawi rin sa akin.

Sinong baliw na babae sa mundong ito ang palalagpasin ang isang mailap na opurtunidad para lang sa walang ka kwenta-kwentang rason?

Halos buong Pilipino ay ang turing sa akin ay isang taksil. Isang traydor para sa bansang ito. I just made them proud from what I did, and all of a sudden I just wasted their support. Kesyo lumaki agad ang ulo ko, wala akong utang na loob at napakamali na sinuportahan nila ako noong una pa lang ng laban.

Sana hindi na lang daw ako nanalo kung grabeng kahihiyan ang ibibigay ko sa bansa. Sana noong una palang ay sinabi ko na hindi ko pala kaya kung ganito lang din ang gagawin ko. Halos napakaraming babae sa Pilipinas ang pangarap na manalo tapos heto ako sinayang lang.

They never know that what I did was history.

Hindi ko naman alam na mananalo talaga ako sa international pageant na iyon. It was never been my dream to be a beauty queen. Though I believe its good cause and aspirations, but eventually in the middle of my reign, I just realize something. It is really not for me, and this is not what I wanted to do in my life.

The glamorous world, the very hard to maintain expectations from everyone and most is the perfection that people wanted me to do. I just can't take it all.

I don't understand the madness of my countrymen. Seems like an international beauty contest like this becomes now their constant comfort to what is really happening into this country. There are so many social issues in this world that need to be taken seriously.

But why take it all to me? Am I not allowed to give up? Even if others see it as a big mistake for what seems like a dream to everyone, but I just take it for granted.

But can they blame me if that would be my decision? I just don't understand the obsession of these people in contest like this. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ang taas-taas ng standard nila sa mga beauty contest pero pagdating sa politiko ay kahit ilang beses ng napatunayang nagnakaw sa kaban ng bayan pero ang dali lang nilang iboto ulit.

Ang dami nilang masabi pagdating sa mga kagaya namin na beauty queen na ni konting pagkakamali ay ilulugmok na agad sa social media. Hahanapan ng butas at kapag nanalo ka naman ay todo pagyayabang sa ibang bansa ang gagawin kesyo mas maganda talaga ang mga Pilipina kumpara sa ibang babaeng lahi.