LET ME LOVE YOU

14: Cindy Asuncion Tuazon

" His messages "

" You disgrace us! Ano na naman ito, Cindy ha!!"

Nang makauwi ako mula sa nakakatraumang nangyari sa amin ni Carlo ay nakita ko kaagad ang mommy at daddy na naghihintay sa akin sa bahay na tinutuluyan dito sa probinsya. Bahay ito ng totoo kong ina. Matagal nang walang nakatira sa bahay na ito bago pa man ako ipinatapon ng mga magulang ko rito.

Halos nasa States na rin kasi ang lahat ng mga kamag-anak ng mama. I don't know what to call my real mother. I never saw her since I was born. How I wish I was able to grow up with her. What would it had been if she never died?

I saw may dad who is again staring at me unbelievably. The cold stare again is killing me inside.

I am so tired. And the last thing that I want now is being scolded again with my rash decisions.

" Have you gone stupid!?"

Tumingin ako sa mommy na hindi ko alam kung ganito lang ba ang kanyang pagpapakita ng pag-aalala o hysterical na naman siya kasi ang akala niya na perfect daughter ay heto nagkamali na naman.

" Hindi ka pa ba nadala na nasuspend ka last time? What will happen to you now kung e-suspend ka naman nila ulit?"

I am so sleepy and my heart is hurting enough to bear these.

I looked at my dad with his hatred eyes.

Tsk. Why can't this old man say something about me? Why can't he scold me like mommy? Ain't he not worried about me?

Just this? Dissapointed and it seems like he just wanted me to be gone so soon in his life in order to never make chaos again and digrace his name.

" I'm sorry mom. Hindi na mauulit."

I hear her sigh in so much despair. I can't look now in her eyes. Akala ko hindi na ako magtataka pa kung ipakita na niya sa akin ang pagmamalupit bilang madrasta ko. Afterall I am Cinderella, right? Bound to be humiliated by my stepmother.

I smirk in disbelief for comparing again my life on that fairytale. Such a pity. Still living in fairytales when I know in this reality, there's no rescue from it.

Umakyat na ako ng hagdan upang magpahinga. Alam ko magagalit lang siya ng husto sa akin kapag ganitong umiiwas na naman ako.

" Saan ka pupunta, Cindy! Hindi pa tayo tapos!"

" Mom.. I'm sorry. Okay? Hindi ka ba..."

'Hindi ka ba magpapasalamat na ligtas ako at heto buhay na nakauwi?'

I just want to say all out loud those words, but I know they won't ever care. I look again to my dad who is obviously want to dismiss me already. Seems like pagod din siya.

Nagpatuloy nalang ako sa pag-akyat.

" From now on, Cindy! Grounded ka na! Bahay at skwela ka lang!"

I want to refuse, but I end up nodding in order to end this conversation. Mabilis akong nagtuloy-tuloy na sa aking kwarto.

Tsk. Ang pagtakas ko lang pala ang magpapapunta sa kanila rito. Mula nang ipatapon nila ako rito ay ni hindi nila ako dinalaw. Maging sa mahahalagang okasyon sa buhay ko ay hindi sila dumating.

Ngayon lang kung saan akala nila ipinahiya ko na naman sila. Ngayon lang kung saan akala ko sa wakas nag-aalala pa rin sila sa akin

But life I guess are full of disappointments. No matter how you try to be not surprise about it, but still whenever it starts happening, you have no choice but to accept it.