..but I still want you // OT7 [COMPLETED]

16 || Just Tell The Truth

HOSEOK & JOVA

Hoseok POV

The fine sheen of sweat on the lightly tanned skin of Jova's chest and stomach is absolutely beautiful. We've been fucking for hours and I can tell she is starting to forget whether she's coming or going.

The corner of my lip raises in a smirk at my joke.

"Oh, please! I can't cum again! Oh, shit!" Jova whines from off the edge of the bed where her head hangs upside down.

"Yes, you can. I feel it building with every stroke, Jo. Give it to me."

She yells more, fighting the orgasm I know she holds that will make her body open for me. I pound into her harder, enjoying the way her breasts bounce with every thrust and push her closer to her undoing.

As I sit back onto my feet, I lick my thumb and use it to reach between her thighs to stimulate her clit. Jova and I both groan in bliss when we feel each other cum, she coating me and me filling her.

When her nails dig into my forearm, she lays completely frozen with her mouth gaped open filling the room with the sexiest moan she's ever made. I want to seed her so much, but I don't know how to even talk to her about it.

"I'm not ready to be pregnant, Hoseok."

"Huh?"

Jova lazily shifts to disconnect our bodies and face me. "I felt how deep you went when you came. You were trying to seed me again."

"I.. was.. not.. you.." I fumble over the words but Jova gives me a death glare.

"Just admit it, Hobi."

"Fine." I sigh and flip to my back at the head of her bed. It's easier if I don't look into her intimidating eyes. "I want a child."

"I'm using a diaphragm. I've been using one since the second time we connected."

Laying both hands over my face, I groan. "Because you don't trust me."

"No, actually. It's because I don't trust me. All it takes is for us both to think about having a child while we're in the moment and the deed is done. I don't have time to be pregnant right now."

"Of course you're too busy. Everyone is too busy to start a family apparently."

The words slip out before I realize I have said them. I feel the bed shake as Jova moves and I know she is trying to stare through the backs of my hands into my eyes.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She sounds pissed.

Shit, Hoseok.

"Nothing, Jo. I'm sorry for sounding rude."

"Are you having sex with someone else? Is that what that means?"

I make the mistake of uncovering my face. Jova is super pissed.

"That isn't what I-"

She straddles herself over my hips. "You fucked me different. Who is she?"

And I'm getting a migraine again.

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that work keeps my wife and I so busy, we don't have time to start.. a.. fami-fuck."

The way Jova's honey brown eyes bulge out of her head reminds me of a cartoon character. "You're fucking your wife? Is that what you're telling me?"

"I wasn't saying- Jo!" I yell as she removes herself from my body and grabs her clothing from the floor.

"One time, Hoseok! I made a mistake one fucking time!"

Hopping off of the bed, I grab my boxers and tug them on following my highly upset partner. "Jova, wait! Please!"

Jova is fighting with her sweatpants, tears slowly making their way down her cheeks. She's managed to put her shirt on but it's inside out and backwards.

"I was young and stupid! Will you hold it over me forever?"

I grab both of her hands to stop her. "This had nothing to do with that! I swear!"

"We were too young to know anything about connecting! It shouldn't even have happened in the first place!"

Wrapping Jova in my arms, I allow her to hit my sides with all of the pain she has held onto since our first connection. I don't hold any choice she made on her own against her, but I wish I'd known what she went through when it happened.

I knew she wasn't okay no matter how much she professed it that evening ten years ago. She missed a week of school claiming she had strep throat, but I knew better.

She was well on her way to a full academic scholarship to any university of her choosing. After that week, her grades plummeted and her options grew limited until there were none.

It was my fault. Newly connected to me, Jova only opened herself because I needed her to. Her scent kickstarted my desires and I scared her needing her to venture too far beyond her comfort zone too quickly.

Because of my actions, she feared to be alone with me; she didn't believe me when I explained the fates would never allow me to hurt her. She continued to act as if everything was fine, but avoided any type of bonding act with me.

By the time she finally talked to me about her concerns, I'd given myself to another. Jova hasn't fully trusted me since.

"You've finally grown the balls to drop me?" She sniffles.

"I'm not dropping you, Jo. Nothing that happened was your fault."

"Whatever."

"It's the truth, and I'm sorry for everything. I won't ever leave you."

"Even if I tell you I don't want to be pregnant ever? Then what will you do?"

Jova notices when I fight my mouth from turning into its signature triangle shape as I become upset. "Even then I won't leave."

"Don't lie to me, Hoseok. I can put up with a lot of things, but not lying."

"I won't. I couldn't hurt you that way after you put so much trust in me that first night. It makes sense that you would never trust me again." I lay my lips against her forehead.

"Was she better than me?" She sniffles.

My eyes widen with surprise. As I try to move away, I say "That's not really something-"

Jova locks me into her arms. "Just tell me the truth the first time I ask a fucking question, Hoseok!"

"I can't compare the two of you in bed, Jova. It isn't fair."

"Because she is better?"

Huffing, I drop my arms and I raise my head to the ceiling. "Because I have heard you call for me every single time we've connected for nine years. I know exactly what to do and how to please you every single time without you ever verbally speaking a word. She and I.. I don't hear her the way I hear you when we're intimate. I have to feel her on my own and listen for actual sounds."

Releasing her hold, Jova moves her hands to my hips. Her fingertips anxiously toy with the waistband of my underwear before she speaks a word. I look down to her just as she looks up at me.

"Is that something you prefer to do?" Her voice cracks.

"I truthfully don't know the answer to that."

"How many other women have you given yourself to since we found each other?"

There it is. I knew it was never far from conversation and someday Jova would question my promiscuity. A part of me feels as if she thinks I go around having sex with random women when I'm not with her when that is so far from the truth.

"You already know the answer to that."

Her nails dig into my skin. "Look me in the eyes, Hobi, and tell me the truth."

"No matter what you want to believe, I've never been with anyone that wasn't a part of my trifecta."

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a/n: didja.. didja get that? 😉😏