..but I still want you // OT7 [COMPLETED]

58 || The Best Policy

HOSEOK & ASTRA (a.k.a. Jetta)

Hoseok POV

"How do you feel right now?" Astra softly questions from her position laying on her stomach beside me in bed.

I remain on my back keeping my sight to the ceiling as I can't look into her eyes and speak without losing my train of thought. Twirling a few strands of my hair around my fingers, I reply "Even more in love with you than I was earlier in the day."

She shifts gently in the bedsheets. "Me too."

I roll to my right side and press my lips to the bare, smooth skin of her shoulder as I dance my fingers down her spine. She contently sighs.

"I would like for us to start wearing our wedding rings. How does that make you feel?"

Astra's gaze settles on her empty ring finger peeking out from under the pillow where she rests her head. "I haven't worn mine in so long."

I watch her with my lips still against her skin. She wiggles her fingers, the red polish of her manicured nails catching the bit of city lighting that trickles into our bedroom.

"Neither have I but our relationship is much different now."

Twisting to her side to face me, Astra lays her hand against my cheek. "I never thought feeling this way for anyone would be possible. It's like if I'm too far from you for too long, I can't breathe."

"I know. It's such a strange feeling after the way we have been with each other lately." I press my lips to hers.

Our kisses have become unhurried as their quantity greatened. It has grown to be less of an action and more of an emotion we share as often as we can.

Astra snuggles into my chest with a heavy sigh. "Should I worry?"

"What do you mean?"

Her fingertips make small circles on my chest. "You have strong feelings for your succour as well. Should I be worried that one day the tension between you two will become too much?"

I trace her fingers with mine. "Should I worry about the times you are alone with your succour?"

"That's not the same. I am only curious about his skill level in the sack and my succour would never take me to bed. His belief in the fates is too strong."

Astra raises her head to look into my eyes. "You are in love with her."

"I am, but the way I love her is different from the way I love you, Astra."

"And how is that supposed to make me feel better? The fates picked the both of us for your trifecta. You chose to fall in love with her."

"I didn't chose to fall in love with her. It just happened and it feels like a totally organic bond she and I share. If we're being perfectly honest, it took me connecting with you to realize I was in love with her."

Astra frowns; her brow wrinkles horribly. "Not feeling any better, Hoseok."

"I just can't explain it, but it makes sense in my head. I have loved you for years and that turned into a desire to connect with you. She and I are similar, only backwards."

"Did you connect with her when you had sex?"

"I wasn't old enough to fully understand connecting. It was just sex for what it was and that was the end of it."

"If you weren't old enough to know about connecting, how do you know you didn't connect with her and your actual partner broke that bond?"

My eyes shoot open at the thought. "What?"

"It could explain why you didn't have a difficult time letting your partner go. Your succour could have been your partner too."

I've never thought of it that way. It has been too many years to remember exactly the way I felt during the act, but there is a definite possibility Dykema and I did indeed connect.

"I can tell by the bumfuzzled expression you hadn't thought that far."

I am at a loss for words. "No, I hadn't. She never mentioned anything about connecting with me."

"Too young to understand connecting, remember?" Astra rolls away from me to face the city view.

"I can't let her go, Astra. Dykema means so much to me, but I can't lose you either."

"I'm not asking you to choose between us, but have you thought about what happens when she finds a partner? How will you feel about that?"

"I only want her to be happy and taken care of, the same as I have always wanted for you."

Astra turns her head towards me. "That is not what I am asking, Hoseok."

"She has.. needs.." I struggle with the taste of the word. "I understand she needs a connection. I will take it in stride, but I will still be there for her always."

"It isn't your job to take it in stride. This is her trifecta we're talking about. I'm sure she wants to connect just as bad as her partner waiting in the wings wants to connect with her. That part of the trifecta has nothing to do with you."

"But I am her succour and I care greatly about her. We've practically grown up together so not only am I a part of her trifecta, I am also her friend."

"A friend with a seven and a half inch dilemma."

I gulp. I hate when Astra's right.

"I will be happy and supportive when she finds her partner." I want my statement to be true, but deep down I know it isn't.

"And she will need that. What happens when the two of you are together as succours and she becomes so aroused in your presence, she calls on her partner? How will you react when you are pushed to the side for a connection?"

My certainty wavers. "It will be fine. Just watch."

"You are very sexually attracted to her. It won't be easy for you."

Astra eases from the bed, her body creating a beautiful silhouette against the nighttime backdrop. My eyes follow her curves until she disappears into the bathroom.

A few moments pass and then the shower starts. It hasn't been thirty minutes since Astra and I last connected, but that doesn't stop her call from gently beckoning me to join her.

I find my wife standing in the shower with one leg propped up on the shower seat applying some shaving cream to her calf. I slip in behind her slipping myself into her and feeling once again at home.

"I was trying to shave, Hobi. What are you doing?"

"You were showing me your pussy, Jetta, and you shaved your legs this morning right after we had sex in the shower for the first time today."

She chuckles, standing and pressing her back against my chest. "Will we always be like this?"

I wrap my arms around her. "I hope so. I love this version of us. The only thing that could make this version of us better is if we were wearing our wedding rings."

My hand slips down her toned stomach stretching wide over her lower belly. A thought passes in my head quickly, but not so quick that I don't realize it.

Maybe one day, I think to myself. One day she will allow it and that day will be the happiest of my life.

She lays her arms on top of mine. "You are adamant about those expensive symbols of matrimony, aren't you?"

"I would love for the world to know I am yours. Is that so wrong?"

"Not wrong at all." She cranes her head up to lay a soft kiss on my lips.

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a/n: for those who are concerned, yes, Jetta is very happy.. she has a man that loves her unconditionally and knows how to lay the pipe.. who wouldn't want that? ❤💜