..but I still want you // OT7 [COMPLETED]

40 || The Struggle To Speak

SEOKJIN & DANBI

Seokjin POV

"I'm going to ask my girlfriend to marry me." I nearly vomit from nerves hearing myself say it aloud.

Danbi raises her head from my shoulder with a gentle smile. "That's beautiful, Jinnie. I'm excited for you."

"It makes me lightheaded thinking about it. What if she says no?"

"Why would she say no? She loves you doesn't she?"

Embarrassed, I look away. "I-I don't actually know."

"Haven't you told her you love her?"

"Yes."

Danbi frowns. I don't like when she does that because it makes her innocent face look so heartbroken and I want to give her everything to change that.

"And she didn't say it back?"

"Well, she was kind of asleep when I said it so I'm pretty sure she didn't hear me."

"Maybe before proposing you should tell her you love her again preferably while she's awake and talk to her about marriage."

"I suppose." Is the only reply I can muster as my anxiety about proposing is upped now that I realize Dykema and I need to talk about it first.

Returning to her comfy spot, Danbi doesn't offer any further conversation. I twirl her hair around my fingers remaining silent as well.

"Are you okay?" I finally ask after too many quiet moments pass.

"I called on a man for the first time."

"You finally connected to your partner? Congratulations, Bibi!"

She sits up and scoots away from me. The way she hangs her head and fidgets with her dress hem says she's not happy about her connection.

"It wasn't him. It was a man I met in a bar."

"But you have a partner for your sexual needs. Why would you call on a stranger?"

"Because I am scared of the man the fates picked for me. Everything about the way his eyes devour me is terrifying and it doesn't make me want him at all!"

I scoot closer to Danbi and hold her as she begins to cry. "He is just excited to connect with you. It happens to all partners. The thrill of pleasing your partner for the first time can become too much for one person and I will admit a tad scary to the other."

"He scared me, Jinnie. And he hurt me." She sniffles.

Her words make me freeze. "Your partner can't hurt you. Are you sure-"

"Not him. The man I called on. I wasn't sure how to call on a partner yet and I called for him and I thought he could hear me but I found out he couldn't after he was done. He mentioned his partner's name as he.." Danbi sobs remembering the traumatic experience.

"I'm sure his partner appreciated feeling the break in their connection."

"His partner died in a car wreck. He and his girlfriend aren't getting along right now and he worried he pushed his succour too far from her comfort zone."

Her tiny fingers rub the tip of her nose. "What do you mean 'break in their connection'?"

Kissing the top of her head, I stroke her back to keep her calm. "If this man still had a partner, she would have felt the break in their connection when he opened himself to you."