..but I still want you // OT7 [COMPLETED]

33 || Lovesick

HOSEOK & ASTRA (a.k.a. JETTA)

Hoseok POV

It's too fucking quiet. Astra and I only speak while we're in the office when absolutely necessary and at home we pass each other in silence.

She steals glances in my direction when she thinks I'm not looking and I know this because I do the same with her catching her once just as she diverted her gaze. We are still having a difficult time coming to grips with the reality of our current situation, and talking this through like the adults that we are is apparently preposterous.

I can hear Astra call for me no matter how much she pretends like she isn't. Her call is melodic and full of desire just as I have always imagined her to sound, but this doesn't feel like I'd always hoped it would.

She has yet to speak on her feelings for me since we decided to be exclusive while having sex on our conference room table. I can tell the lack of sex is starting to get to her as she's become forgetful of the tiniest things due to the throbbing between her thighs increasing at every turn.

The ride home this evening is no different than any of the previous. She sits on her side of the car, her legs crossed away from me as she fiddles with her cellphone and I remain on my side pretending to read through emails on my work phone.

I peep at my wife from the corner of my eye and notice her head has turned a bit towards me. When I full on look at Astra, she clears her throat and shifts uncomfortably, but she continues to scroll on her phone. She has rested her elbow on the door and laid her head on top of her hand which made it appear she was looking my way.

I drop my sight back to my phone.

"You have a business dinner on Thursday." My words are solemnly spoken as I read the email further.

"Don't you mean 'we' have a business dinner?"

"No. They have only requested your presence."

Astra scoffs dropping her phone onto her lap. "Tell them to fuck off. That is not a business dinner. It is a date and it is disrespectful to ask out a woman that you are well aware is happily married."

I fight the urge to take her right here and now. "Do you mean that?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Hoseok! Whoever it is had the balls and the audacity to send an email to our joint fucking account to ask only me out to a 'business dinner'."

Locking my phone, I roll it over on its screen in my fingers then to its back a few times. My heart speeds up at the words Astra chose to not speak on.

"I meant the 'happily married' part."

She tenses and I only know this because the car drives over a few uneven spots in the road that cause her entire body to stiffly sway. Either she didn't realize she said it or she wasn't expecting me to call her on saying it.

When I look at Astra, she stares at her fingers picking at some fuzz on the thigh of her gray slacks. Her lips wiggle as she chews the inside of her cheek while considering her response.

"Yes."

"Why don't you talk to me then?"

"Communication is a two way street. You haven't talked to me either."

She's got me there. "You're right and I'm sorry."

"What are we doing, Hobi?"

"To be perfectly honest, I don't have a fucking clue."

Astra rolls her eyes returning her stare to the phone in her lap. "Fucking brilliant."

We finish our ride home in total silence. I wish I'd said something other than what I did, but I don't know what else I could have said. At least it was the truth.