..but I still want you // OT7 [COMPLETED]

02 || Hard Times

NAMJOON & ALANA

Namjoon POV

"She's going to bit-gripe at you again, Joonie. Just wait." Alana snuggles the top of her thick coils into my neck with a groan of approval.

I knead her lower back just a bit more. "She's always bit-griping at me lately. Is here good?"

"Holy sssshhhh-eep on a biscuit! Yess!"

I laugh at her way of avoiding saying curse words. "I still don't get why you don't just say the word. You're an adult."

"Because the biii-mbo of a shop owner has threatened my dipsh-stick of a boss with termination if he didn't discipline me for my potty mouth. Taming my tongue is hard as fuc-dge."

Alana groans in utter bliss when I press on a relatively tough knot, working it out expertly. My hands work their way farther out to her sides and I am startled when she pulls them away from her body.

"Don't touch the fat rolls, dude. Not cool."

"You're not fat, Alana."

"Tell that to the extra X on the shirt I just bought yesterday."

I return my hands to the middle of her back. "You just have big boobs. They require extra X's."

"I wish they didn't. They're annoying and heavy to pack around." She relaxes against my chest.

"Want me to hold them for you?"

Alana huffs, tensing up from my question. "No one has called on you yet?"

I don't answer opting to work my thumbs into her lower back instead.

"Has She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named offered to help in that area? I would think she would be the most likely stand in until you were called."

"She, uhm.." I clear my throat not wanting the words to pass from my lips "She wants us to have a child. Us meaning me seeding someone, but I don't have a partner and according to her I should be out roaming the streets where I can easily be called on instead of one floor above our apartment easing your period pains."

"What a bitch."

"What about taming your tongue?"

"Fuck that. She deserves it. You don't make one connection priority over the others. Everybody knows that. That's how jealousy begins."

"I do spend most of my time with you, you know."

Turning to face me, Alana looks over my sullen expression. "You have a good reason to. I am on my period and need affection the most right now. She can suck ass."

With a chuckle, I wrap my arms around her, tugging her into my lap. Alana is taller than most women I know which many men find intimidating, but being tall myself, I enjoy the fact that my succour has a bit of height to her. When it comes down to it, she's just a five-foot-nine-inch ball of goofy emotional fluff.

Straddling my thighs, Alana lays her head on my shoulder as I reach under her sweatshirt to massage her back again. This is only day two of her menstruation and her second and third days are usually the worst.

"I want superman ice cream and cheese puffs."

She doesn't see me smirk. "Do you have some in your kitchen?"

"Yeah." Her reply sounds like a kitten mewling.

"Do you need something for your cramps while I'm up?"

Another kitten sound. "Yeah."

"Okay. I'll get them for you."

I can't help myself, enjoying the way her full curves feel under my palms as I struggle to remove my hands from her body. I pause when my fingertips graze the warmth of her naked breast under her sweatshirt.

"Joonie? What are you doing?" She whispers without moving.

"I don't.. I just.." My breathing quickens. "It's been so long since I have touched a woman, Alana."

"This shouldn't happen with us. We don't work this way."

"I know, but you are very attractive, and I would love to touch you in that way."

I keep at my small movements listening to her breathing increase with mine. My hand inches further up until the full weight of her breast rests in my elated palm. My thumb seeks out her nipple.

Alana raises her head silently judging me. I don't stop touching her.

She removes her sweatshirt and for the first time since we were tethered fifteen years ago, I lay eyes on her large bare chest.

"You can touch, only touch, for two minutes. After that, I put my sweatshirt back on and you get my ice cream and chips and we pretend this didn't happen."

Her sentence barely finished, my mouth wraps around one of her erected nipples and I roll the other between my thumb and index fingers.

She gasps, surprised at the sensation. Alana moans softly at each flick of my tongue and gentle pinch of my fingers. It feels so good having a woman this way after the loss of my partner.

"Joon, you're pushing it."

I move her hand down to the obvious tent in my sweatpants, switching my mouth to her other peak. There's a soft rumble in my chest when her hand brushes over my tip.

"We can't do this. It doesn't feel right."

"Just touch me please. I just need to be touched, Alana."

My mouth encompasses her nipple again with just as much excitement as before flicking my tongue happily. It takes a few swipes until I notice Alana's hand stays stationary on my sweats and she chews at her lower lip.

Embarrassed, I slowly remove myself from her endowments. She slips from my lap, staring blankly into the living room, to grab her sweatshirt and cover herself.

"I'm sorry for putting you in such an awkward position. I'll go grab your snacks and medicine now." I don't wait for her to respond, immediately standing from the sofa and rushing into the kitchen.

I have made an idiot of myself. I slam the first few cabinets shut out of frustration as I search for Alana's chips. She was right; we don't work that way.

Covering my face, I sob hysterically sensing Alana behind me and her arms circling my waist. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't apologize, Namjoon. I can't imagine how difficult it must be dealing with the death of the only partner you have ever had at such a young age. I know your body is weak for attention-"

"I shouldn't have forced myself onto you. Please don't make excuses for anything I just did. It was wrong, point blank." I sniffle and wipe my nose.

"As much as I hate to admit it, She-Beast may be right. You should be out meeting new people and hopefully someone will call on you soon. You're getting desperate and that is never a good thing."

I turn to face her. "You think wanting to connect with you makes me desperate?"

"I am not exactly your sexual match. I mean," she holds her hands out at her sides, "look at me."

"You make my anatomy twitch."

Alana crosses her arms. "Fucking hell, Joon. I meant if you weren't sex deprived, you wouldn't go for someone that is built like me."

"I would." I murmur as tears fill my eyes. "I did. Amèlie was shaped exactly like you."

Her mouth forms a small 'o'. "That explains why it was so easy for you to.. well.." She motions to my crotch.

"Touching you was like touching Amèlie again. I just couldn't hear her call on me, and I.." I am unable to finish my thought as a tear slips down my cheek.

Alana wraps her arms around me. "You should get out and find a new partner. You won't be called on if nobody knows you exist."

"Yeah. I'll do that. And I'm sorry again, Alana."

"Apologize by bringing me my snacks." She releases me to head back into the living room. Once out of sight she adds "And by rubbing my feet!"

--
a/n: once we have introduced everyone if anyone needs a who's-with-who cheat sheet I'll be happy to publish it ☺