One-shots [Reqs: 5]

Oh, Boy - Shut Up

bit of warning, ink is a bigot. he does not understand gender identity, it seems.

anyway, error is so done with ink's shit, even more than before. no one talks about his bonded-over-hot-chocolate friends like that >:(

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Error liked his void. It was quiet, lonesome. There were no morons asking for favors or angry octopuses demanding paid depts. And, for the most part, there were no obnoxious, stick-in-the-ass, rainbow-obsessed morons with too many paint vials and not enough brain cells.

It was just him, Undernovela, R̶e̶d̶'̶s his favorite chocolate, his companionable puppets, and the human souls.

Error stared up at the ceiling, letting out a long, stuttering sigh of pure and utter conten-

"Heya glitchy!"

Error's arm pixelated violently, his scream lagging. "I-I-I-INK-K-K!!" Strings shot out, ensnaring the insufferable creator who was currently cackling. "Excited to see me? Aw, I'm flattered!" Error growled, the sound staticky. "What-at-at the hell a-a-a-are you doing-oing here, bastard-astard." Ink grinned, kicking his legs, "Oh nothing much. I was bored and decided to come see my favorite glitch!"

"Lucky me," Error snarked. He flicked his hand, string constricting around Ink, making the other wheeze out a laugh. "Yeah!" A moment of silence passed- a reprieve from Ink's annoying voice. And then Ink was kicking his legs and making the strings sway, the short monster- could he even be called that?- swinging. Error grimaced, disgusted, and released him. "Get-t-t-t out of my- of my void, squid."

Ink stumbled, laughing instead of obeying- honestly, Error didn't know why he expected any better. "Oh, come on, ru! It's novella time, isn't it? Can I-"

"No. Out." Ink pouted, kicking at the floor, before letting out a 'snrk' and skipping to where Error was laying on his beanbag. Error glared at him. Fucking leave already! Instead of the mental message transmitting like Error was hoping, Ink snorted and sat down cheerfully- how the fuck do you sit down cheerfully??- and set his hands on his knees, his elbows up. "Well? What are you waiting for? Let's get this show started!"

Error sighed, stretching his arm out to make a window. "F-f-f-fine." And dramatic guitar filled the void, the narrator giving a recap of the last 'episode.' Error could almost forget Ink was there. Almost.

"....So, I noticed Cross is with you guys now. How's that going?" Error groaned, "Ink, bastard, shut-ut-ut up." Ink turned his hands up, shrugging, "Hey, I'm just curious. I wanna know what you think about Cross." Error scoffed, snapping his fingers to pause the show. "He's a whiny b-"

"Wait, wait, wait, stop right there. He?" Ink sounded incredulous. Error scowled. "Don't fucking-king interr-r-r-r-r-rupt me. And what the fuck does that mean-ean??"

"Cross still going on about that? I thought she'd stopped!" Error had a visible loading sign over his face, his mouth open. Ink rambled on in his silence, "She used to talk about it so often, even I was annoyed! And even after I told her that she can't just change sides like that, she still goes and lies to everyone??"

Error needed a moment to think, but Ink's fucking voice was halting the process and that needed to be remedied immediately. "-and I brought her a birthday present, like a good friend, and she just went and got mad about it! Like, c'mon, I thought girls liked dresses! And then she had the gall to tell me that I was the one who was being stupid-" It finally clicked in Error's brain. Well, not really. All he really understood was that he wanted to prove Ink wrong. "Ink-k, shut up for one fuck-uck-ucking second-econd-econd."

Ink's eyelights flashed to exclamation points, his voice muffled as strings wrapped around his face, effectively silencing him for the most part. "I'm only going-oing to ask-ask this once. You're telling me that Cross-oss is a girl?" Ink nodded vigorously, trying to speak. Error let him, more so out of curiosity than anything. "I found her in her dead au a long time ago, and at some point, she tried to tell me she was a dude, but that couldn't be right, because her code specifically said she was a female, and she sounded like a girl, and even looked like one so I told her that she was wrong and she just didn't listen, so every time she tried to 'correct me', I had to remind her that she wasn't and-"

"Okay, okay, shut up again-ain." Ink gave a stifled shout, his mouth covered again. Error was mostly just confused. Cross was a dude. He'd spoken with him, had shared hot chocolate with him- her??? Ah, shit, Ink was fucking with his mind- and he somehow never heard a single thing about Cross being a girl. And- Hold the fuck up, why was he even considering that Ink was right? Ink's never right!

"You know wha-a-a-at, I'll check his-is-is code myself." Ink's sockets flashed through colors, his hands coming up to tear off the strings. "Ooo, lemme see!" Error begrudgingly allowed him to, if only to have the chance to prove him wrong.

Cross's code wasn't very complicated to go through. It took a solid fifteen seconds to find it.

{CHR.G.INPUT]> "fe̶m̶a̶l̶e" = [ERR] = "male"}

Error blinked. And then blinked again. Ink wasn't wrong, per se, but he also wasn't right. Cross's code did say he was originally female, but it had been rewritten. Ink gaped over his shoulder, "I- Hold on, that can't be right! I've seen her myself, she's a girl!" This time, it did click. Error wanted to facepalm. Nightmare had told him about this. Honestly, Error hadn't cared at the time, so maybe that's why he didn't remember easily.

Ink continued to babble idiotically, "Error, her code is broken, you need to fix it right now, this isn't normal, oh geez, what if she actually broke something with her lying-"

Error hated a lot of things. He hated Nightmare's constant nagging, he hated Reaper's constant- and rather desperate- flirting, he hated all those stupid abominations Ink so foolishly tried to protect, but right now, he really hated the way Ink was talking about Cross. He cut him off mid-sentence. "Ink, Cross is trans-ans. He's a dude." Ink made a face, and Error started glitching more aggressively.

"Cross isn't a dude, I keep telling you that she's-" Error stood up, the coding screen vanishing in a cloud of pixels. "I think-ink-ink you mean he. Beca-eca-ecause he's a guy."

"But she's not! She's a liar! I can prove it! Ask her to summon her ecto, and you'll se-"

"If-f-f-f-f you finish that sent-ent-entence, I'm going to f-f-f-fucking drown you three times-imes over and sh-h-h-h-shove you in a grinder."

Ink squeaked, alarmed as he was strung up rather violently. "H-hey wait, I didn't do anything wrong-" Error pulled the strings tighter, the threads cutting into Ink's bones vengefully. "Listen here, paint bucket. Here's what-at-at you're goin-ing to do." Ink shivered under Error's hateful gaze. "Y..yeah?"

Error jostled him around, his tone booking no room for argument. "You are going to st-st-st-st-stop calling Cross someth-th-th-thing he's not. And I don't fucking-ucking-ucking care if you forget, if I hear you cal-al-al-alling him the wrong thing one more time.." Ink nodded spastically, Error grinning internally, smug that he'd managed to intimidate Ink.

"Good. Now make sure that-that the rest of your star idiots-idiots-iots get the m-m-m-message too." And Ink was flung into a random au. Cold water sucked him down with a splash, Ink immediately starting to choke, unable to swim with his body tied up the way it was. Error closed the portal, uncaring of Ink's fate. No one misgenders his chocolate buddy and gets away with it.

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Ink drowned and dream had to save him.

ink was really about to suggest a fucking genital check, smh, error shoulda murdered him on the spot. it's hilarious that he tried to use that as his reasoning, because ninety percent of the time, skeleton monster ecto bodies don't reflect gender. Ink, you stupid boy.

oh, and he actually never told anyone anything, directly disobeying error's command, so guess who got dismembered like a week later :D

aslkdjf;alksjdf error tells nightmare about it and cross is very flattered and error is like 'shut up i don't like you' [blushes] and cross is like 'lmao i know' [very smug]